Jake Coomes

Attacking Midfielder (R) - Metta/LU
26 Apr 2027
Monday
Process

Marked for Jake Coomes

37 Edition

The Metta/LU Gazette

12 Apr 2027
From our football correspondent Steady

Squad

A knee injury of the worst kind for Kārlis Vilnis

63 days on the estimate, and a long, private, unglamorous year of a rehabilitation nobody watches. Metta/LU lose a footballer; he loses considerably more than a season.

Match

The small margins put Metta/LU out

Out, 0‑0 to Liepaja, and the long argument about which of the small moments decided it. The league is all there is now, and everybody knows it.

Squad

Reinis Reinholds is the hero from the spot

A shoot-out is remembered by its ending, and this one ends with Reinis Reinholds: 1 kept out, and a set of supporters who will describe every one of them for the next twenty years.

Player ratings

Up for the corner, and Pablo Ricardo delivers — 7.68

Centre-halves are allowed forward twice a season and are judged on what they do when they get there. Pablo Ricardo scored, was marked 7.68, and got back before anybody noticed he had gone.

Player ratings

A chastening introduction for Jake Coomes — 5.78

It is a hard way to meet a crowd. Marked 5.78 on the day he was handed the shirt, and the important thing now is what the next one looks like.

Squad

Jakub Nečas in a row with a teammate

It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Metta/LU this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.

Squad

Words at Metta/LU training over how hard people work

Somebody said out loud what several people had been thinking. Pablo Ricardo is at the centre of it, and the squad will now find out whether the standard rises or the pair of them simply stop speaking.

Match

A bad afternoon for Metta/LU against Ventspils

1‑2 to Ventspils, and no complaints worth printing. The performance asked for nothing more than it got.

Player ratings

Nobody could get near Robbe Quirynen

Successful dribbles: 18. Every time he got the ball somebody had to make a decision, and every time the decision was wrong.

In brief

Back issues
28 Edition

The Metta/LU Gazette

8 Feb 2027
From our football correspondent Uneasy

Squad

A knee injury of the worst kind for Daņiils Čiņajevs

28 days on the estimate, and a long, private, unglamorous year of a rehabilitation nobody watches. Metta/LU lose a footballer; he loses considerably more than a season.

Squad

Pablo Ricardo in a row with a teammate

It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Metta/LU this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.

Squad

Gianluca Scremin falls out with a teammate over standards

The oldest argument in any dressing room and the only one that is genuinely about football: one man thinks another is not putting enough in. It is also the row a manager privately does not mind having happened.

In brief

24 Edition

The Metta/LU Gazette

11 Jan 2027
From our football correspondent Uneasy

Squad

Vladimirs Kamess breaks a bone — 41 days out

Brutal, unambiguous and, for all the horror of the moment, usually less career-shaped than the ligament everybody fears more. 41 days, a clean timeline, and a return date somebody can actually plan around.

Market

Vladimirs Kamess is a Metta/LU player

The fee is $84.0K, the contract is signed, and the argument about whether he is worth it can begin. Ventspils drove a hard bargain; time will say who won it.

Squad

Thiago Dubroca in a row with a teammate

It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Metta/LU this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.

The terraces

Metta/LU spend $84.0K on the signing the town wanted

It is the rarest sequence in football: supporters ask for something, and the club goes and does it. $84.0K for Vladimirs Kamess, and for one week nobody is complaining about anything.

Squad

Pablo Ricardo falls out with a teammate over standards

The oldest argument in any dressing room and the only one that is genuinely about football: one man thinks another is not putting enough in. It is also the row a manager privately does not mind having happened.

Squad

Jack McEvilly signs on for more

“Some decisions take a long time. This one took ten minutes, and most of that was finding a pen.” Jack McEvilly and Metta/LU agree another 3 years.

In brief