Håkon Lorentzen

Attacking Midfielder (C) - Burgos
1 Jun 2031
Sunday
Process

Marked for Håkon Lorentzen

248 Edition

The Burgos Courier

28 Apr 2031
From our football correspondent Upbeat

Match

No mercy from Burgos

Cultural Leonesa will want this one forgotten quickly: 4‑1, every duel lost, and a long ride home. Burgos were ruthless in the way good sides are ruthless.

Player ratings

Rodrigo Mendoza scores twice — 8.37

Two goals and a mark of 8.37 to go with them. Strikers are judged on afternoons like this one and remembered for far fewer of them than people imagine.

Market

Håkon Lorentzen hands in a written request

“I have nothing bad to say about this place. I just need to be somewhere else.” It is in writing now, which changes what Burgos can pretend not to have heard.

Squad

Rodrigo Mendoza is carrying Burgos

19 goals and a season average of 7.38. Form like that gets noticed well beyond this town.

Match

Burgos cannot stop winning

4 wins on the spin now, and the question has changed from whether the run ends to who ends it. Confidence like this cannot be bought; it has to be earned exactly this way.

Market

Rodrigo Mendoza wants to know where this is going

“I want to win things, and I would like to do it here.” Nothing has been demanded and nothing has been threatened — but a boardroom at Burgos hears a sentence like that exactly as it was built.

Squad

Beñat Turrientes in a row with a teammate

It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Burgos this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.

Squad

A row about effort at Burgos

Somebody said out loud what several people thought about how hard another man trains, and Ignasi Vilarrasa was in the middle of it. The one dressing-room argument that is genuinely about football.

Player ratings

Nobody could get near Ignasi Vilarrasa

Successful dribbles: 20. Every time he got the ball somebody had to make a decision, and every time the decision was wrong.

In brief

Back issues
245 Edition

The Burgos Courier

7 Apr 2031
From our football correspondent Steady

Player ratings

Both of them Mateo Mejía's — 8.88

2 goals, and the second was the one that settled it. Marked 8.88, and he could have had a third with better luck at the near post.

Market

Ulises Agüero puts it in writing

“This is not anger. I have thought about it for months, and nothing that has happened lately changed my mind.” The request is on a desk at Burgos, and it is not being withdrawn.

Squad

Rodrigo Mendoza is in the form of his life

A season average of 7.33 with 16 goals behind it. Opponents have started planning around him, which is the sincerest compliment football pays.

Squad

A falling-out at Burgos

Rodrigo Mendoza and a teammate went at it, and not about football. Training grounds are small places and a long season makes them smaller.

Squad

Pablo Galdames signs a new deal

“I never wanted to be anywhere else. There is unfinished business here.” Pablo Galdames commits to Burgos for another 2 years.

Squad

A row about effort at Burgos

Somebody said out loud what several people thought about how hard another man trains, and Ignasi Vilarrasa was in the middle of it. The one dressing-room argument that is genuinely about football.

Match

Burgos find a way past Cádiz

Cádiz made Burgos work for it, but the scoreboard read 2‑0 at the end and the table does not ask how.

Player ratings

Rodrigo Mendoza beats them one at a time

Successful dribbles: 15. There was always a defender in front of him and there was never a defender in front of him for long.

The dugout

Håkon Lorentzen gets it from the manager

“Nobody here is above being told.” It was not said with a name attached, but the dressing room can count, and so can everybody who was listening.

In brief

244 Edition

The Burgos Courier

31 Mar 2031
From our football correspondent Crisis

Market

Håkon Lorentzen hands in a written request

“I have nothing bad to say about this place. I just need to be somewhere else.” It is in writing now, which changes what Burgos can pretend not to have heard.

Squad

Rodrigo Mendoza in a row with a teammate

It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Burgos this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.

Match

4 matches without a win for Burgos

The run now stands at 4, and the questions being asked around Burgos are no longer polite ones.

Squad

A row about effort at Burgos

Somebody said out loud what several people thought about how hard another man trains, and Ignasi Vilarrasa was in the middle of it. The one dressing-room argument that is genuinely about football.

Match

Alavés take the points off Burgos

Beaten 1‑3, and beaten fairly. The manager kept his words short afterwards, which was probably wise.

The dugout

The manager makes an example of Pablo Galdames

“If you cannot run for the shirt, somebody else will wear it.” No name was used and none was needed; every player in that room knew who it was for.

Squad

Håkon Lorentzen wants to go home

“I have tried. I have really tried, and every day I wake up in the wrong place.” Nobody at Burgos can coach that out of a man, and nobody there is pretending to.

Squad

A last season at home is what Håkon Lorentzen is after

It is sentimental, it is completely genuine, and it is the beginning of a departure nobody has announced. The club can be gracious about it or it can pretend not to have heard.

Boardroom

Wages eat 99% of everything Burgos earn

There is a figure at which a wage bill stops being ambitious and becomes the reason nothing else is possible, and this club has reached it. Nothing is left over for a transfer, a stand or a rainy afternoon.

In brief

185 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

11 Feb 2030
From our football correspondent Crisis

Market

Jakob Vester has said yes to Haugesund

The last thing about a transfer that is still about the player is his signature on his own terms, and it is there. Valerenga have lost him in all but the paperwork.

Market

Valerenga say no — this time

The offer from Viking for Joe Bell was heard out and sent back the same day. First bids are rarely meant to succeed; they are meant to find out how loudly the door closes.

Market

Håkon Lorentzen puts it in writing

“This is not anger. I have thought about it for months, and nothing that has happened lately changed my mind.” The request is on a desk at Valerenga, and it is not being withdrawn.

Boardroom

Valerenga to lose Hugo Kissanga for free

There is no worse way to lose a footballer. Hugo Kissanga has pre-agreed a move away, which means every appearance between now and June is made by a man the club can no longer sell, and somebody upstairs will be asked why the contract was allowed to get here.

Squad

A falling-out at Valerenga

Ernest Agyiri and a teammate went at it, and not about football. Training grounds are small places and a long season makes them smaller.

Squad

Words at Valerenga training over how hard people work

Somebody said out loud what several people had been thinking. Sondre Brunstad Fet is at the centre of it, and the squad will now find out whether the standard rises or the pair of them simply stop speaking.

Transfer targets

Door shut on Haakon Sørum

Valerenga asked and IK Start said no without discussing a figure. It is the least ambiguous answer in football and the one clubs most often come back to test.

The dugout

The manager makes an example of Sondre Brunstad Fet

“If you cannot run for the shirt, somebody else will wear it.” No name was used and none was needed; every player in that room knew who it was for.

Market

Sebastian Jarl told to find a new club

“They were honest with me, and I would rather know.” Sebastian Jarl has been informed he is not in the manager's thinking at Valerenga.

In brief

183 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

28 Jan 2030
From our football correspondent Uneasy

Market

Omar Bully has one foot out of the door

Terms are settled between the clubs and the rest is paperwork and a photograph. Around Valerenga they have already started talking about him in the past tense.

Squad

Tempers go at Valerenga

Mathias Grundetjern was at the centre of it, and by the time it was pulled apart there were three or four others involved. Training grounds are small places and long seasons make them smaller.

Squad

Brice Ambina falls out with a teammate over standards

The oldest argument in any dressing room and the only one that is genuinely about football: one man thinks another is not putting enough in. It is also the row a manager privately does not mind having happened.

Squad

Valerenga lose Patrick Liam Oustad

29 days, the medical staff say, and medical staff are optimists by profession. The team sheet will look wrong without him.

The dugout

Jakob Vester gets it from the manager

“Nobody here is above being told.” It was not said with a name attached, but the dressing room can count, and so can everybody who was listening.

Boardroom

The numbers do not look good at Valerenga

Wages have outrun income and the accountants have started attending meetings they used to send apologies to. Ambition comes second in a season like this.

In brief

182 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

21 Jan 2030
From our football correspondent Uneasy

The dugout

Wessel Dammers says Valerenga went back on their word

“I was told what my role would be, and I signed on that basis. It has not happened.” A grievance with a date attached is the hardest kind to settle.

Squad

Words exchanged at Valerenga

Ernest Agyiri and a teammate said things this week that will take longer than a week to unsay. It was not about football, and both of them play on Saturday.

Squad

Sondre Brunstad Fet falls out with a teammate over standards

The oldest argument in any dressing room and the only one that is genuinely about football: one man thinks another is not putting enough in. It is also the row a manager privately does not mind having happened.

The dugout

Håkon Lorentzen asks for a word with the manager

“I would rather say it to his face than read about it.” The meeting was requested by the player, which tells you most of what you need to know.

Market

The Oscar Hedvall question follows Valerenga around

Every press conference now starts and ends the same way: with Oscar Hedvall’s future. The manager has run out of new ways to say nothing.

Market

The clock does Viljar Vevatne’s negotiating for him

1 months left, and both sides know what that means: every week without a signature, the fee Valerenga could ask drops and the wages Viljar Vevatne can ask rise.

The dugout

Jakob Vester has been promised minutes

A conversation in the manager’s office, and a commitment that came out of it. Promises like that are cheap to make and expensive to break, and Jakob Vester has written the date down.

Boardroom

The Valerenga production line keeps running

30 graduates out of an academy now rated 15 out of 20. Clubs this size survive on exactly that, and the town knows every name.

Squad

Lessons booked for Stanley Nnanna at Valerenga

Nobody writes a headline about a tutor. Nobody has to be told, either, what happens to a signing who spends two years being the man nobody can talk to at lunch.

In brief

181 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

14 Jan 2030
From our football correspondent Uneasy

Market

Håkon Lorentzen hands in a written request

“I have nothing bad to say about this place. I just need to be somewhere else.” It is in writing now, which changes what Valerenga can pretend not to have heard.

Market

Taha Usman is on his way

The clubs have agreed terms, and what remains is formality: a medical, a photograph, a signature. Nobody at Valerenga is pretending he will be back in the shirt.

Squad

Tempers go at Valerenga

Sondre Brunstad Fet was at the centre of it, and by the time it was pulled apart there were three or four others involved. Training grounds are small places and long seasons make them smaller.

Squad

Words at Valerenga training over how hard people work

Somebody said out loud what several people had been thinking. Brice Ambina is at the centre of it, and the squad will now find out whether the standard rises or the pair of them simply stop speaking.

The dugout

No hiding place for Kristian Normann

“I pick players who do the work. All of it.” No name was spoken; every camera still turned to Kristian Normann, and the manager let it.

Market

No place for Omar Bully in the plan

“The manager did not use many words, and he did not need to.” Omar Bully has his answer from Valerenga; what he does with it is the next window’s story.

The dugout

Wessel Dammers knocks on the manager's door

“It had gone on long enough. I would rather have it out than leave it sitting there.” Ten minutes behind a closed door at Valerenga, and both men came out saying it was fine.

Market

The Mathias Grundetjern story refuses to die

It has been denied twice and printed three times, which is the usual arithmetic. Until Mathias Grundetjern signs something — a contract at Valerenga or anywhere else — this column belongs to him.

The dugout

A door opens for Jakob Vester

He asked about his future and was given an answer with minutes in it. The manager has now made a promise in a building where promises are remembered, and the clock on it has started.

In brief

178 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

24 Dec 2029
From our football correspondent Uneasy

The dugout

Ismaël Seoné says Valerenga went back on their word

“I was told what my role would be, and I signed on that basis. It has not happened.” A grievance with a date attached is the hardest kind to settle.

Squad

Words exchanged at Valerenga

Ernest Agyiri and a teammate said things this week that will take longer than a week to unsay. It was not about football, and both of them play on Saturday.

Squad

Sondre Brunstad Fet falls out with a teammate over standards

The oldest argument in any dressing room and the only one that is genuinely about football: one man thinks another is not putting enough in. It is also the row a manager privately does not mind having happened.

The dugout

No hiding place for Mats Møller Dæhli

“I pick players who do the work. All of it.” No name was spoken; every camera still turned to Mats Møller Dæhli, and the manager let it.

The dugout

Valerenga keep their word to Sondre Brunstad Fet

Clubs make promises constantly and the page usually only hears about them when they are broken. This one was honoured, and the dressing room noticed that faster than any supporter did.

The dugout

Sondre Brunstad Fet is playing like a man with something to prove

The oldest phenomenon in the sport: a new voice in the dressing room and suddenly everybody is available for everything. Sondre Brunstad Fet is training as though the last team sheet never existed, because as far as he is concerned it does not.

Market

The Oscar Hedvall question follows Valerenga around

Every press conference now starts and ends the same way: with Oscar Hedvall’s future. The manager has run out of new ways to say nothing.

Market

Håkon Lorentzen placed on the list

Valerenga have made Håkon Lorentzen available for transfer. A career at this club is over in all but paperwork.

Squad

Stanley Nnanna remains an outsider

A year in and the city has not opened up, the language has not come, and lunch is eaten alone more often than anybody at Valerenga would admit. It shows on Saturdays.

In brief

177 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

17 Dec 2029
From our football correspondent Uneasy

Boardroom

the manager is the new Valerenga manager

“This is a club with real history, and I did not have to think about it for long.” The new manager takes charge with every slate wiped clean.

Market

Håkon Lorentzen asks to leave Valerenga

“I have given everything here and I need a new challenge.” The request is formal, and the relationship will never be quite the same again.

Market

Taha Usman has one foot out of the door

Terms are settled between the clubs and the rest is paperwork and a photograph. Around Valerenga they have already started talking about him in the past tense.

Squad

A falling-out at Valerenga

Mathias Grundetjern and a teammate went at it, and not about football. Training grounds are small places and a long season makes them smaller.

Squad

Words at Valerenga training over how hard people work

Somebody said out loud what several people had been thinking. Brice Ambina is at the centre of it, and the squad will now find out whether the standard rises or the pair of them simply stop speaking.

The dugout

Patrick Bohinen gets it from the manager

“Nobody here is above being told.” It was not said with a name attached, but the dressing room can count, and so can everybody who was listening.

The dugout

A clean slate for Sondre Brunstad Fet

A new manager did not pick last season’s side and does not care what it looked like. Sondre Brunstad Fet has taken that personally, in the best sense, and Valerenga are seeing a version of him the last regime had stopped seeing.

Squad

Ole Henriksen signs a new deal

“I never wanted to be anywhere else. There is unfinished business here.” Ole Henriksen commits to Valerenga for another 4 years.

Squad

Patrick Bohinen has had enough of the bench

“I did not come here to warm up in front of people.” He is out of contract eventually, he is old enough to count the weeks, and Valerenga will have to give him a reason to stay or an exit.

In brief

176 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

10 Dec 2029
From our football correspondent Uneasy

The terraces

Anger at Valerenga spills outside the ground

It has stopped being a mood in the stands and started being something organised. Boards can ignore a bad atmosphere for a long time; they cannot ignore this stage of it for very long at all.

The dugout

Kristian Normann says Valerenga went back on their word

“I was told what my role would be, and I signed on that basis. It has not happened.” A grievance with a date attached is the hardest kind to settle.

Boardroom

Still no name above the door at Valerenga

Day 39 of the vacancy. Candidates have been priced, sounded out and quietly ruled out — and the caretaker’s win ratio is becoming an argument all by itself.

Squad

Ernest Agyiri in a row with a teammate

It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Valerenga this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.

Squad

Sondre Brunstad Fet falls out with a teammate over standards

The oldest argument in any dressing room and the only one that is genuinely about football: one man thinks another is not putting enough in. It is also the row a manager privately does not mind having happened.

The dugout

The manager makes an example of Wessel Dammers

“If you cannot run for the shirt, somebody else will wear it.” No name was used and none was needed; every player in that room knew who it was for.

Squad

Stanley Nnanna is a square peg at Valerenga

The system has changed and his position has not. A footballer can improve his form; he cannot improve the manager’s formation, and that is the whole of the problem.

The dugout

Håkon Lorentzen knocks on the manager’s door

“Thirty minutes, door closed, everything said. We shook hands after.” Whatever was in the room stayed in the room, and Håkon Lorentzen trained the next morning like a man with less to carry.

Market

The Mohamed Ofkir story refuses to die

It has been denied twice and printed three times, which is the usual arithmetic. Until Mohamed Ofkir signs something — a contract at Valerenga or anywhere else — this column belongs to him.

In brief

174 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

26 Nov 2029
From our football correspondent Uneasy

Squad

Sondre Brunstad Fet in a row with a teammate

It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Valerenga this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.

Squad

Wessel Dammers falls out with a teammate over standards

The oldest argument in any dressing room and the only one that is genuinely about football: one man thinks another is not putting enough in. It is also the row a manager privately does not mind having happened.

Boardroom

Wages eat 98% of everything Valerenga earn

There is a figure at which a wage bill stops being ambitious and becomes the reason nothing else is possible, and this club has reached it. Nothing is left over for a transfer, a stand or a rainy afternoon.

The dugout

No hiding place for Kristian Normann

“I pick players who do the work. All of it.” No name was spoken; every camera still turned to Kristian Normann, and the manager let it.

The dugout

Wessel Dammers asks for a word with the manager

“I would rather say it to his face than read about it.” The meeting was requested by the player, which tells you most of what you need to know.

Market

The Oscar Hedvall question follows Valerenga around

Every press conference now starts and ends the same way: with Oscar Hedvall’s future. The manager has run out of new ways to say nothing.

Market

Valerenga put Håkon Lorentzen up for sale

The list is a quiet document with a loud meaning. Håkon Lorentzen may talk to anybody who asks, and everybody at the club understands what that means.

Market

Rosenborg send scouts to watch Brice Ambina

Two seats in the directors' box were spoken for, and the name in the notebook was Brice Ambina. Nothing has been offered yet.

Squad

Hugo Kissanga is finding his feet at Valerenga

The language is coming and there is somebody to talk to in the dressing room. A footballer who feels at home plays like one, and it never shows up in a scouting report.

In brief

173 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

19 Nov 2029
From our football correspondent Uneasy

Market

Håkon Lorentzen hands in a written request

“I have nothing bad to say about this place. I just need to be somewhere else.” It is in writing now, which changes what Valerenga can pretend not to have heard.

Market

Taha Usman has one foot out of the door

Terms are settled between the clubs and the rest is paperwork and a photograph. Around Valerenga they have already started talking about him in the past tense.

Squad

Joe Bell in a row with a teammate

It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Valerenga this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.

Squad

Sondre Brunstad Fet falls out with a teammate over standards

The oldest argument in any dressing room and the only one that is genuinely about football: one man thinks another is not putting enough in. It is also the row a manager privately does not mind having happened.

The dugout

The manager makes an example of Oscar Hedvall

“If you cannot run for the shirt, somebody else will wear it.” No name was used and none was needed; every player in that room knew who it was for.

Market

The Mathias Grundetjern story refuses to die

It has been denied twice and printed three times, which is the usual arithmetic. Until Mathias Grundetjern signs something — a contract at Valerenga or anywhere else — this column belongs to him.

Squad

Rúnar Alex Rúnarsson goes off with his country

A call-up flatters the player and the club that produced him in the same breath. Valerenga would like him back in one piece and know they will not be consulted.

Market

Still no signature from Viljar Vevatne

3 months left and the two sides are nowhere near each other. Every week this drags on takes money off what Valerenga could get for him.

The dugout

Kristian Normann asks for a word with the manager

“I would rather say it to his face than read about it.” The meeting was requested by the player, which tells you most of what you need to know.

In brief

169 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

22 Oct 2029
From our football correspondent Crisis

Match

Meliga Promise settles it late for Valerenga

The 89th minute, half the ground already edging towards the exits, and Meliga Promise decided nobody was going anywhere. Molde had no time left to answer.

Market

Håkon Lorentzen hands in a written request

“I have nothing bad to say about this place. I just need to be somewhere else.” It is in writing now, which changes what Valerenga can pretend not to have heard.

Market

Only the photograph left for Taha Usman

Fee agreed, terms agreed, medical booked. Taha Usman will be somebody else’s player by the weekend, and around Valerenga the goodbyes have quietly begun.

Match

Valerenga end the wait against Molde

It had gone 7 games. The players did not celebrate like men who had won a match; they celebrated like men who had been let out of something.

Squad

Words at Valerenga training over how hard people work

Somebody said out loud what several people had been thinking. Sondre Brunstad Fet is at the centre of it, and the squad will now find out whether the standard rises or the pair of them simply stop speaking.

Squad

Words exchanged at Valerenga

Rúnar Alex Rúnarsson and a teammate said things this week that will take longer than a week to unsay. It was not about football, and both of them play on Saturday.

The terraces

The crowd has taken to Meliga Promise

At 22 he is being sung about by people twice his age, which is an affection a signing has to earn over years and a local kid gets for turning up. It is also the hardest thing in football to live up to.

Match

Valerenga get the job done against Molde

A 1‑0 win over Molde, earned rather than given, and the sort of afternoon that sends everyone home talking about next week instead of this one.

Looking ahead

All roads lead to Lillestrom

The fixture the calendar is arranged around. Form goes out of the window, the table is not consulted, and for ninety minutes Valerenga will be judged on one thing only.

In brief

  • Player ratings Meliga Promise stands above it all
  • The dugout the manager: “That is the standard”
  • The dugout The manager makes an example of Jakob Vester
164 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

17 Sep 2029
From our football correspondent Crisis

The terraces

The mood at Valerenga has turned into something else

Supporters who sing when it goes badly are supporters. Supporters who gather afterwards are a problem, and everybody inside the building knows which of the two this now is.

Market

Håkon Lorentzen puts it in writing

“This is not anger. I have thought about it for months, and nothing that has happened lately changed my mind.” The request is on a desk at Valerenga, and it is not being withdrawn.

Squad

7 saves: Rúnar Alex Rúnarsson was the team

Some afternoons a goalkeeper is the whole of the defence. 7 saves, several of them the kind nobody expects to see made, and ten outfield players who owe him a drink.

Squad

Words at Valerenga training over how hard people work

Somebody said out loud what several people had been thinking. Sondre Brunstad Fet is at the centre of it, and the squad will now find out whether the standard rises or the pair of them simply stop speaking.

Squad

Words exchanged at Valerenga

Håkon Lorentzen and a teammate said things this week that will take longer than a week to unsay. It was not about football, and both of them play on Saturday.

Match

A bad afternoon for Valerenga against Sarpsborg 08

0‑1 to Sarpsborg 08, and no complaints worth printing. The performance asked for nothing more than it got.

The dugout

No place for Joe Bell on the big day

He found out with everybody else, an hour before kick-off, from a sheet of paper on a wall. Nobody at Valerenga pretended it was anything other than a decision about him.

The dugout

the manager: “No excuses”

“I could talk about decisions and I could talk about luck. I will not. We lost.” The manager, 0‑1, and a press conference that lasted four minutes.

The dugout

A promise honoured at Valerenga

Something was said to Andy Lyons and then it happened. In this industry that passes for remarkable, and the dressing room noticed faster than any supporter could.

In brief

163 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

10 Sep 2029
From our football correspondent Crisis

Market

Taha Usman hands in a written request

“I have nothing bad to say about this place. I just need to be somewhere else.” It is in writing now, which changes what Valerenga can pretend not to have heard.

Market

Only the photograph left for Omar Bully

Fee agreed, terms agreed, medical booked. Omar Bully will be somebody else’s player by the weekend, and around Valerenga the goodbyes have quietly begun.

Squad

Sondre Brunstad Fet falls out with a teammate over standards

The oldest argument in any dressing room and the only one that is genuinely about football: one man thinks another is not putting enough in. It is also the row a manager privately does not mind having happened.

Squad

A falling-out at Valerenga

Håkon Lorentzen and a teammate went at it, and not about football. Training grounds are small places and a long season makes them smaller.

Match

Haugesund take the points off Valerenga

Beaten 0‑1, and beaten fairly. The manager kept his words short afterwards, which was probably wise.

The dugout

the manager faces the questions

“We were not good enough today and I am not going to dress it up.” the manager after 0‑1, in the tone of a man who knows the next question and does not intend to answer it.

The dugout

No hiding place for Karsten Ekorness

“I pick players who do the work. All of it.” No name was spoken; every camera still turned to Karsten Ekorness, and the manager let it.

Player ratings

Lucas Ravn-Haren was unplayable

Successful dribbles: 13. He went past people as if he had been told there was a prize for it, and by the end the full-back had stopped pretending to try.

Market

Brice Ambina linked with a move away

The name of Brice Ambina keeps appearing in other people's back pages. Valerenga say nothing, which says plenty.

In brief

162 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

3 Sep 2029
From our football correspondent Uneasy

The dugout

Håkon Lorentzen: that is not what I was promised

“Things were said to me before I signed. I am not going to repeat them, but I remember all of them.” Valerenga have not answered, which is an answer of sorts.

Boardroom

The scrutiny sharpens at Valerenga

Nobody upstairs has said anything, which is the loudest thing they could do. Results buy silence in this game; the account at Valerenga is running low.

Squad

Words exchanged at Valerenga

Mathias Grundetjern and a teammate said things this week that will take longer than a week to unsay. It was not about football, and both of them play on Saturday.

Squad

A row about effort at Valerenga

Somebody said out loud what several people thought about how hard another man trains, and Wessel Dammers was in the middle of it. The one dressing-room argument that is genuinely about football.

Match

Late, late show earns Valerenga a point

Minute 92, against Mjondalen, and a goal that felt like a win to everybody who had stayed. It was a draw. Nobody leaving the ground will describe it as one.

Boardroom

93% of the income goes out in wages at Valerenga

Every club in football pays most of what it earns to its players. Paying nearly all of it is a different arrangement, and it has ended the same way every time somebody has tried it.

Squad

Rúnar Alex Rúnarsson is no longer first choice

The manager has re-ordered his thinking and Rúnar Alex Rúnarsson has come out of it lower. He will be told it is temporary, and the players who have heard that before will avoid his eye.

The dugout

The manager makes an example of Ivan Näsberg

“If you cannot run for the shirt, somebody else will wear it.” No name was used and none was needed; every player in that room knew who it was for.

The dugout

A promise honoured for Håkon Lorentzen

It is not much of a headline and it is the reason players believe the next promise. Valerenga told Håkon Lorentzen something would happen and then it happened, which in this industry passes for remarkable.

In brief

  • Match Valerenga and Mjondalen take a point apiece
  • Boardroom The numbers do not look good at Valerenga
  • The dugout the manager on the point
161 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

27 Aug 2029
From our football correspondent Uneasy

Match

Valerenga tear Odd apart

Rarely has this fixture seen a display like it: 4‑0 against Odd, and it could have been more.

Market

Sondre Brunstad Fet hands in a written request

“I have nothing bad to say about this place. I just need to be somewhere else.” It is in writing now, which changes what Valerenga can pretend not to have heard.

Squad

3 goals for Mohamed Ofkir

The match ball belongs to Mohamed Ofkir, whose 3 goals turned a difficult afternoon into a procession.

Player ratings

Vintage Mohamed Ofkir — 9.71

At 33 every good afternoon gets called a throwback, and this one was: 9.71, and nobody on the pitch better.

Squad

Rúnar Alex Rúnarsson keeps Valerenga in it on his own

Some afternoons a goalkeeper is the team. 6 saves, several of them the sort nobody expects to see stopped, and a scoreline that flatters everybody in front of him.

Player ratings

Joe Bell pops up at the right end — 7.83

7.83, 1 on the scoresheet, and the specific comedy of a back-four player celebrating like somebody who does this every week. He does not, and that is exactly why the ground reacted the way it did.

Match

At last: Valerenga win one

8 matches without a win, and then this, against Odd. Relief is a strange noise in a football ground and it was the only noise at the end.

Market

Taha Usman has one foot out of the door

Terms are settled between the clubs and the rest is paperwork and a photograph. Around Valerenga they have already started talking about him in the past tense.

Squad

Words at Valerenga training over how hard people work

Somebody said out loud what several people had been thinking. Sondre Brunstad Fet is at the centre of it, and the squad will now find out whether the standard rises or the pair of them simply stop speaking.

In brief

159 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

13 Aug 2029
From our football correspondent Uneasy

The dugout

Oscar Hedvall says Valerenga went back on their word

“I was told what my role would be, and I signed on that basis. It has not happened.” A grievance with a date attached is the hardest kind to settle.

Match

No end in sight to Valerenga's wait for a win

7 matches now without a victory, and the excuses have worn thinner than the patience. Somebody at Valerenga has to find a result from somewhere.

Market

Omar Bully is on his way

The clubs have agreed terms, and what remains is formality: a medical, a photograph, a signature. Nobody at Valerenga is pretending he will be back in the shirt.

Player ratings

Ernest Agyiri was unplayable

Successful dribbles: 23. He went past people as if he had been told there was a prize for it, and by the end the full-back had stopped pretending to try.

Squad

Tempers go at Valerenga

Mathias Grundetjern was at the centre of it, and by the time it was pulled apart there were three or four others involved. Training grounds are small places and long seasons make them smaller.

Squad

A row about effort at Valerenga

Somebody said out loud what several people thought about how hard another man trains, and Sondre Brunstad Fet was in the middle of it. The one dressing-room argument that is genuinely about football.

Squad

Sondre Brunstad Fet has outgrown this division

There is a level at which a footballer stops being tested and starts being contained, and he reached it some time ago. Valerenga know it, and so does everybody who watches him.

Squad

The formation has left Håkon Lorentzen behind

Every shape has positions in it and this one does not have his. Valerenga will either change the shape, change his job, or change his club, and he is waiting to hear which.

Player ratings

Nobody on the pitch touched Leo Cornic

7.60, and no serious argument from anybody who was there. Valerenga had eleven men on the pitch and one of them decided how it went.

In brief

  • The dugout Half-satisfied: the manager on the draw
  • The dugout The manager makes an example of Heine Åsen Larsen
  • The dugout The plan did not have a place for Oscar Hedvall
154 Edition

The Viking Sentinel

9 Jul 2029
From our football correspondent Upbeat

Squad

A knee injury of the worst kind for Zlatko Tripic

35 days on the estimate, and a long, private, unglamorous year of a rehabilitation nobody watches. Viking lose a footballer; he loses considerably more than a season.

Player ratings

Both of them Ruben Alte's — 9.05

2 goals, and the second was the one that settled it. Marked 9.05, and he could have had a third with better luck at the near post.

Match

Still nobody has beaten Viking

The unbeaten run reaches 12. Some of them were wins and some were escapes, but a side that refuses to lose is a side other dressing rooms talk about.

Market

Anders Bærtelsen is on his way

The clubs have agreed terms, and what remains is formality: a medical, a photograph, a signature. Nobody at Viking is pretending he will be back in the shirt.

Squad

Zlatko Tripic signs a new deal

“I never wanted to be anywhere else. There is unfinished business here.” Zlatko Tripic commits to Viking for another 2 years.

Squad

A falling-out at Viking

Erik Botheim and a teammate went at it, and not about football. Training grounds are small places and a long season makes them smaller.

Player ratings

Nobody could get near Santeri Väänänen

Successful dribbles: 22. Every time he got the ball somebody had to make a decision, and every time the decision was wrong.

Match

Viking find a way past Odd

Odd made Viking work for it, but the scoreboard read 2‑1 at the end and the table does not ask how.

Squad

Defences have started doubling up on Erik Botheim

10 goals and a season average of 7.30 will do that. The space he used to find has gone; he keeps scoring anyway, which is the mark of the real thing.

In brief

  • The dugout The manager makes an example of Håkon Lorentzen
  • The dugout The manager’s verdict
  • The dugout Ruben Alte gets picked when it counts