19 Sep 2038
Sunday
Process
633 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

13 Sep 2038
From our football correspondent Triumph

Squad

A fracture rules Kuba Bochniarz out for 47 days

Bones knit. That is the one merciful thing about this injury and the reason Valerenga will talk about it more openly than they would about a knee. He will be back, and roughly when they say.

Match

Valerenga strike at the death to beat Haugesund

There were 85 minutes on the clock and Haugesund had all but banked the point. Football rarely reads the room, and Valerenga did not stop to explain themselves.

Match

Valerenga cannot stop winning

5 wins on the spin now, and the question has changed from whether the run ends to who ends it. Confidence like this cannot be bought; it has to be earned exactly this way.

Market

Liam Doyle puts it in writing

“This is not anger. I have thought about it for months, and nothing that has happened lately changed my mind.” The request is on a desk at Valerenga, and it is not being withdrawn.

Squad

Aaron Kiil Olsen in a row with a teammate

It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Valerenga this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.

Market

Only the photograph left for Liam Doyle

Fee agreed, terms agreed, medical booked. Liam Doyle will be somebody else’s player by the weekend, and around Valerenga the goodbyes have quietly begun.

Market

Valerenga may not be able to give Maximiliano Porcel what he wants

It is the most legitimate ambition in the sport and the hardest for most clubs to satisfy. Maximiliano Porcel wants continental football; whether Valerenga can provide it is a question about the next two seasons, not about him.

Squad

Filip Thorvaldsen falls out with a teammate over standards

The oldest argument in any dressing room and the only one that is genuinely about football: one man thinks another is not putting enough in. It is also the row a manager privately does not mind having happened.

Match

Valerenga see off Haugesund

Three points for Valerenga, 4‑2 the final word against Haugesund in a contest settled by the finer margins.

In brief

Back issues
632 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

6 Sep 2038
From our football correspondent Upbeat

Squad

A fracture rules Kuba Bochniarz out for 54 days

Bones knit. That is the one merciful thing about this injury and the reason Valerenga will talk about it more openly than they would about a knee. He will be back, and roughly when they say.

Match

Eduardo Gomes breaks Mjondalen hearts

Some goals win a match and some take one off somebody else. Eduardo Gomes scored in the 87th minute, Mjondalen had already begun thinking about the journey home, and Valerenga took the lot.

Market

Only the photograph left for Max Merrick

Fee agreed, terms agreed, medical booked. Max Merrick will be somebody else’s player by the weekend, and around Valerenga the goodbyes have quietly begun.

Squad

Aaron Kiil Olsen has been here 15 seasons

414 appearances across 15 seasons in one shirt. Nobody builds a career like that on purpose any more; it happens to a certain kind of footballer at a certain kind of club.

Match

Valerenga make it 4 in a row

Momentum is a hard thing to buy and an easy thing to lose, and right now Valerenga have 4 straight wins of it.

Market

Mannou Berger hands in a written request

“I have nothing bad to say about this place. I just need to be somewhere else.” It is in writing now, which changes what Valerenga can pretend not to have heard.

Squad

Tempers go at Valerenga

Aaron Kiil Olsen was at the centre of it, and by the time it was pulled apart there were three or four others involved. Training grounds are small places and long seasons make them smaller.

Market

Eduardo Gomes raises the bar for Valerenga

“I want to be playing for trophies while my legs still let me.” Nothing in that sentence is a transfer request, and nobody at Valerenga heard it as anything else.

Squad

Brice Ambina gets it from the manager

“Nobody here is above being told.” It was not said with a name attached, but the dressing room can count, and so can everybody who was listening.

In brief

631 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

30 Aug 2038
From our football correspondent Upbeat

Squad

A fracture rules Kuba Bochniarz out for 61 days

Bones knit. That is the one merciful thing about this injury and the reason Valerenga will talk about it more openly than they would about a knee. He will be back, and roughly when they say.

Boardroom

Valerenga counting the cost

The accounts make uncomfortable reading. Wages first and ambition second is the order of business at Valerenga now.

Market

Only the photograph left for Anwar Moutawafiq

Fee agreed, terms agreed, medical booked. Anwar Moutawafiq will be somebody else’s player by the weekend, and around Valerenga the goodbyes have quietly begun.

Squad

A one-man rearguard from Max Merrick

There were 6 saves in it, and at least three that had no business being saves at all. The ten outfield players owe him a drink and they know it.

Player ratings

Aaron Kiil Olsen, 37, rolls back the years — 7.92

There is an age at which every good afternoon gets described as a throwback, which is unfair and also accurate. 7.92 at 37, and nobody on the pitch was better.

Market

Jose Reis puts it in writing

“This is not anger. I have thought about it for months, and nothing that has happened lately changed my mind.” The request is on a desk at Valerenga, and it is not being withdrawn.

Squad

Aaron Kiil Olsen in a row with a teammate

It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Valerenga this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.

Match

Nobody wants to play Valerenga right now

3 wins in a row changes how opponents warm up: quieter, more glances across. Runs end, everybody knows that — but nobody in this dressing room is planning for it.

Squad

Filip Thorvaldsen falls out with a teammate over standards

The oldest argument in any dressing room and the only one that is genuinely about football: one man thinks another is not putting enough in. It is also the row a manager privately does not mind having happened.

In brief

630 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

23 Aug 2038
From our football correspondent Uneasy

Match

Valerenga win it in stoppage time

The board had gone up, the arguing had started, and then the ball was in the net in the 91th minute. Sandefjord will replay every second of the added time for a week.

Squad

A fracture rules Kuba Bochniarz out for 68 days

Bones knit. That is the one merciful thing about this injury and the reason Valerenga will talk about it more openly than they would about a knee. He will be back, and roughly when they say.

Market

Tromso come back empty-handed

The bid was some way short and Valerenga did not need long over it. Nobody in the game reads a first refusal as the end of anything.

Squad

Anass Benyahya: that is not what I was promised

“Things were said to me before I signed. I am not going to repeat them, but I remember all of them.” Valerenga have not answered, which is an answer of sorts.

Market

Fernando Rodrigues hands in a written request

“I have nothing bad to say about this place. I just need to be somewhere else.” It is in writing now, which changes what Valerenga can pretend not to have heard.

Squad

Tempers go at Valerenga

Kadir Seven was at the centre of it, and by the time it was pulled apart there were three or four others involved. Training grounds are small places and long seasons make them smaller.

Squad

Words at Valerenga training over how hard people work

Somebody said out loud what several people had been thinking. Filip Thorvaldsen is at the centre of it, and the squad will now find out whether the standard rises or the pair of them simply stop speaking.

Match

René Schäfer the difference as Valerenga beat Sandefjord

Ask anyone on the way out what separated the sides and you will get one name: René Schäfer. 1‑0 against Sandefjord, and the applause at the whistle was mostly his.

Market

IK Start expected to open talks for Anwar Moutawafiq

Both sides expect a conversation in the coming days. Valerenga will name a price, and everything after that is arithmetic.

In brief

629 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

16 Aug 2038
From our football correspondent Uneasy

Squad

A fracture rules Kuba Bochniarz out for 75 days

Bones knit. That is the one merciful thing about this injury and the reason Valerenga will talk about it more openly than they would about a knee. He will be back, and roughly when they say.

Market

Anwar Moutawafiq puts it in writing

“This is not anger. I have thought about it for months, and nothing that has happened lately changed my mind.” The request is on a desk at Valerenga, and it is not being withdrawn.

Squad

Kadir Seven in a row with a teammate

It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Valerenga this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.

Market

The Max Merrick conversation is coming

Everyone has stopped pretending: Tromso will make the call about Max Merrick this week. Valerenga have a number in mind, and the number is not shy.

Player ratings

Yann Bonnet was on a different afternoon to everybody else

9.19. There are performances a supporter describes to somebody who was not there and cannot quite convey; this was one, and the number does not help either.

Match

Valerenga find a way past IK Start

IK Start made Valerenga work for it, but the scoreboard read 2‑1 at the end and the table does not ask how.

Player ratings

Eduardo Gomes in the eights

A performance of 8.93 does not come along often, and when it does the rest of the team becomes scenery. He was magnificent.

Squad

Szymon Roguski falls out with a teammate over standards

The oldest argument in any dressing room and the only one that is genuinely about football: one man thinks another is not putting enough in. It is also the row a manager privately does not mind having happened.

Squad

Yann Bonnet is carrying Valerenga

7 goals and a season average of 7.33. Form like that gets noticed well beyond this town.

In brief

628 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

9 Aug 2038
From our football correspondent Uneasy

Squad

A fracture rules Kuba Bochniarz out for 82 days

Bones knit. That is the one merciful thing about this injury and the reason Valerenga will talk about it more openly than they would about a knee. He will be back, and roughly when they say.

Market

Yann Bonnet asks to leave Valerenga

“I have given everything here and I need a new challenge.” The request is formal, and the relationship will never be quite the same again.

Match

6 matches without a win for Valerenga

The run now stands at 6, and the questions being asked around Valerenga are no longer polite ones.

Squad

Tempers go at Valerenga

Kadir Seven was at the centre of it, and by the time it was pulled apart there were three or four others involved. Training grounds are small places and long seasons make them smaller.

Squad

Words at Valerenga training over how hard people work

Somebody said out loud what several people had been thinking. Filip Thorvaldsen is at the centre of it, and the squad will now find out whether the standard rises or the pair of them simply stop speaking.

Player ratings

Eduardo Gomes runs at them all day

Successful dribbles: 21. There is a particular sort of despair on a full-back's face by the seventieth minute, and it was on display.

Market

Odd watching Morten Svensson

The interest is real enough to have reached print. Valerenga have said nothing, which in a transfer window is its own kind of answer.

Player ratings

Yann Bonnet was on a different afternoon to everybody else

8.99. There are performances a supporter describes to somebody who was not there and cannot quite convey; this was one, and the number does not help either.

Squad

The manager makes an example of Håkon Sjåtil

“If you cannot run for the shirt, somebody else will wear it.” No name was used and none was needed; every player in that room knew who it was for.

In brief

627 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

2 Aug 2038
From our football correspondent Uneasy

Player ratings

Tommy Pilling was immovable

36 times he got in the way of something. Centre-halves get written about when they make mistakes and ignored when they do not, so an afternoon like this needs saying out loud: he is the reason the scoreline reads as it does.

Squad

A fracture rules Kuba Bochniarz out for 89 days

Bones knit. That is the one merciful thing about this injury and the reason Valerenga will talk about it more openly than they would about a knee. He will be back, and roughly when they say.

Boardroom

Valerenga counting the cost

The accounts make uncomfortable reading. Wages first and ambition second is the order of business at Valerenga now.

Market

João Felisberto hands in a written request

“I have nothing bad to say about this place. I just need to be somewhere else.” It is in writing now, which changes what Valerenga can pretend not to have heard.

Squad

10 seasons of Szymon Roguski

265 appearances across 10 seasons in these colours. Careers like that are not built any more, and Valerenga know what they have.

Player ratings

Kadir Seven, 35, rolls back the years — 7.84

There is an age at which every good afternoon gets described as a throwback, which is unfair and also accurate. 7.84 at 35, and nobody on the pitch was better.

Match

The wait goes on for Valerenga

5 without a win now, and the ground has developed the special quiet of a crowd that expects the worst. One scrappy 1-0 would cure most of it; that is the maddening part.

Squad

Kadir Seven in a row with a teammate

It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Valerenga this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.

Squad

Aaron Kiil Olsen falls out with a teammate over standards

The oldest argument in any dressing room and the only one that is genuinely about football: one man thinks another is not putting enough in. It is also the row a manager privately does not mind having happened.

In brief

626 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

26 Jul 2038
From our football correspondent Crisis

Squad

A one-man rearguard from Max Merrick

There were 9 saves in it, and at least three that had no business being saves at all. The ten outfield players owe him a drink and they know it.

Squad

A fracture rules Kuba Bochniarz out for 96 days

Bones knit. That is the one merciful thing about this injury and the reason Valerenga will talk about it more openly than they would about a knee. He will be back, and roughly when they say.

Market

Valerenga say no — this time

The offer from Tromso for Max Merrick was heard out and sent back the same day. First bids are rarely meant to succeed; they are meant to find out how loudly the door closes.

Market

Lamin Njie hands in a written request

“I have nothing bad to say about this place. I just need to be somewhere else.” It is in writing now, which changes what Valerenga can pretend not to have heard.

Match

4 matches without a win for Valerenga

The run now stands at 4, and the questions being asked around Valerenga are no longer polite ones.

Squad

Words at Valerenga training over how hard people work

Somebody said out loud what several people had been thinking. Aaron Kiil Olsen is at the centre of it, and the squad will now find out whether the standard rises or the pair of them simply stop speaking.

Match

Yann Bonnet’s goal not enough for Valerenga

Yann Bonnet scored, and precious little else went right: 1‑2 to Bodo/Glimt, and a quiet walk to the dressing room.

Squad

Anwar Moutawafiq in a row with a teammate

It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Valerenga this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.

Player ratings

Ninety minutes of Yann Bonnet at his very best

Marked 8.70. Players have careers without a single afternoon like this in them, and he has just had one in front of everybody at Valerenga.

In brief

625 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

19 Jul 2038
From our football correspondent Steady

Squad

A fracture rules Kuba Bochniarz out for 103 days

Bones knit. That is the one merciful thing about this injury and the reason Valerenga will talk about it more openly than they would about a knee. He will be back, and roughly when they say.

Market

Anwar Moutawafiq asks to leave Valerenga

“I have given everything here and I need a new challenge.” The request is formal, and the relationship will never be quite the same again.

Squad

Aaron Kiil Olsen in a row with a teammate

It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Valerenga this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.

Squad

Filip Thorvaldsen falls out with a teammate over standards

The oldest argument in any dressing room and the only one that is genuinely about football: one man thinks another is not putting enough in. It is also the row a manager privately does not mind having happened.

Player ratings

Ninety minutes of Yann Bonnet at his very best

Marked 8.98. Players have careers without a single afternoon like this in them, and he has just had one in front of everybody at Valerenga.

Player ratings

Ninety minutes of Eduardo Gomes at his very best

Marked 8.74. Players have careers without a single afternoon like this in them, and he has just had one in front of everybody at Valerenga.

Squad

No hiding place for Szymon Roguski

“I pick players who do the work. All of it.” No name was spoken; every camera still turned to Szymon Roguski, and the manager let it.

Market

The Morten Svensson conversation is coming

Everyone has stopped pretending: Odd will make the call about Morten Svensson this week. Valerenga have a number in mind, and the number is not shy.

Match

Honours even between Valerenga and Lillestrom

2‑2, and both dressing rooms will call it two points lost. A draw that asked plenty of questions and answered none of them.

In brief

624 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

12 Jul 2038
From our football correspondent Steady

Squad

A fracture rules Kuba Bochniarz out for 110 days

Bones knit. That is the one merciful thing about this injury and the reason Valerenga will talk about it more openly than they would about a knee. He will be back, and roughly when they say.

Market

Yann Bonnet puts it in writing

“This is not anger. I have thought about it for months, and nothing that has happened lately changed my mind.” The request is on a desk at Valerenga, and it is not being withdrawn.

Market

Liam Doyle has one foot out of the door

Terms are settled between the clubs and the rest is paperwork and a photograph. Around Valerenga they have already started talking about him in the past tense.

Squad

Tempers go at Valerenga

Kadir Seven was at the centre of it, and by the time it was pulled apart there were three or four others involved. Training grounds are small places and long seasons make them smaller.

Market

Maximiliano Porcel wants European nights

The general version of this complaint is that a player wants more. The specific version names the thing: he wants to walk out under floodlights against clubs from other countries, and he has stopped pretending otherwise.

Squad

Words at Valerenga training over how hard people work

Somebody said out loud what several people had been thinking. Aaron Kiil Olsen is at the centre of it, and the squad will now find out whether the standard rises or the pair of them simply stop speaking.

Match

Molde take the points off Valerenga

Beaten 0‑1, and beaten fairly. The manager kept his words short afterwards, which was probably wise.

Squad

Gabriel Oddvar Opsahl out for 16 days

The medical room confirms 16 days on the sidelines for Gabriel Oddvar Opsahl, and a plan built around him now has to be rebuilt.

Market

Still no ink between Valerenga and Eduardo Gomes

“We keep meeting, and we keep leaving the room with the same numbers we walked in with.” Another round of talks at Valerenga, another week without a signature from Eduardo Gomes.

In brief

623 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

5 Jul 2038
From our football correspondent Steady

Squad

Kuba Bochniarz breaks a bone — 117 days out

Brutal, unambiguous and, for all the horror of the moment, usually less career-shaped than the ligament everybody fears more. 117 days, a clean timeline, and a return date somebody can actually plan around.

Squad

Max Merrick: that is not what I was promised

“Things were said to me before I signed. I am not going to repeat them, but I remember all of them.” Valerenga have not answered, which is an answer of sorts.

Boardroom

The numbers do not look good at Valerenga

Wages have outrun income and the accountants have started attending meetings they used to send apologies to. Ambition comes second in a season like this.

Squad

Max Merrick keeps Valerenga in it on his own

Some afternoons a goalkeeper is the team. 6 saves, several of them the sort nobody expects to see stopped, and a scoreline that flatters everybody in front of him.

Market

Fernando Rodrigues puts it in writing

“This is not anger. I have thought about it for months, and nothing that has happened lately changed my mind.” The request is on a desk at Valerenga, and it is not being withdrawn.

Market

Filip Thorvaldsen wants to know where this is going

“I want to win things, and I would like to do it here.” Nothing has been demanded and nothing has been threatened — but a boardroom at Valerenga hears a sentence like that exactly as it was built.

Squad

Max Merrick in a row with a teammate

It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Valerenga this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.

Match

Filip Thorvaldsen’s goal not enough for Valerenga

Filip Thorvaldsen scored, and precious little else went right: 1‑2 to Rosenborg, and a quiet walk to the dressing room.

Player ratings

Filip Thorvaldsen was on a different afternoon to everybody else

8.30. There are performances a supporter describes to somebody who was not there and cannot quite convey; this was one, and the number does not help either.

In brief

622 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

28 Jun 2038
From our football correspondent Upbeat

Squad

Kuba Bochniarz breaks a bone — 124 days out

Brutal, unambiguous and, for all the horror of the moment, usually less career-shaped than the ligament everybody fears more. 124 days, a clean timeline, and a return date somebody can actually plan around.

Squad

Max Merrick keeps Valerenga in it on his own

Some afternoons a goalkeeper is the team. 9 saves, several of them the sort nobody expects to see stopped, and a scoreline that flatters everybody in front of him.

Match

Valerenga are in among the leaders

Position 3 and 22 points on the board. Nobody at the ground will say the word out loud yet, and everybody at the ground is thinking it.

Market

Tom Stuckey asks to leave Valerenga

“I have given everything here and I need a new challenge.” The request is formal, and the relationship will never be quite the same again.

Squad

Vicente Santos: that is not what I was promised

“Things were said to me before I signed. I am not going to repeat them, but I remember all of them.” Valerenga have not answered, which is an answer of sorts.

Player ratings

Age has not caught Aaron Kiil Olsen yet — 7.93

At 37 he is supposed to be managing his minutes. Instead he was marked 7.93 and looked, for ninety minutes, exactly like the player everybody remembers.

Market

Morten Svensson is on his way

The clubs have agreed terms, and what remains is formality: a medical, a photograph, a signature. Nobody at Valerenga is pretending he will be back in the shirt.

Match

Valerenga make it 3 in a row

Momentum is a hard thing to buy and an easy thing to lose, and right now Valerenga have 3 straight wins of it.

Squad

Kadir Seven in a row with a teammate

It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Valerenga this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.

In brief

621 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

21 Jun 2038
From our football correspondent Upbeat

Squad

Max Merrick keeps Valerenga in it on his own

Some afternoons a goalkeeper is the team. 9 saves, several of them the sort nobody expects to see stopped, and a scoreline that flatters everybody in front of him.

Market

Anwar Moutawafiq puts it in writing

“This is not anger. I have thought about it for months, and nothing that has happened lately changed my mind.” The request is on a desk at Valerenga, and it is not being withdrawn.

Player ratings

Age has not caught Fedde de Jong yet — 8.92

At 35 he is supposed to be managing his minutes. Instead he was marked 8.92 and looked, for ninety minutes, exactly like the player everybody remembers.

Match

9 unbeaten for Valerenga

Hard to beat is not the same as winning, but 9 matches without defeat is a foundation Valerenga did not have in the autumn.

Squad

Tempers go at Valerenga

Kadir Seven was at the centre of it, and by the time it was pulled apart there were three or four others involved. Training grounds are small places and long seasons make them smaller.

Squad

Words at Valerenga training over how hard people work

Somebody said out loud what several people had been thinking. Aaron Kiil Olsen is at the centre of it, and the squad will now find out whether the standard rises or the pair of them simply stop speaking.

Match

Valerenga get the job done against Stromsgodset

A 3‑1 win over Stromsgodset, earned rather than given, and the sort of afternoon that sends everyone home talking about next week instead of this one.

Player ratings

One of those days for Yann Bonnet

There is a version of this player everybody suspected was in there, and on this evidence it is. 8.82, and no argument anywhere in the ground.

Squad

Eduardo Gomes gets it from the manager

“Nobody here is above being told.” It was not said with a name attached, but the dressing room can count, and so can everybody who was listening.

In brief

620 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

14 Jun 2038
From our football correspondent Upbeat

Market

Bop Guèye sold, and an era ends

$13.0M from Lech for Bop Guèye. Money is money, but the dressing room has lost the man it looked to.

Match

No mercy from Valerenga

Viking will want this one forgotten quickly: 4‑1, every duel lost, and a long ride home. Valerenga were ruthless in the way good sides are ruthless.

Player ratings

A brace, and Tommy Pilling takes the afternoon — 9.54

There is a particular kind of quiet from an away end watching one man score twice. Tommy Pilling provided it, and the 9.54 beside his name is if anything generous to everybody else.

Player ratings

Lamin Njie scores twice — 8.29

Two goals and a mark of 8.29 to go with them. Strikers are judged on afternoons like this one and remembered for far fewer of them than people imagine.

Market

João Felisberto hands in a written request

“I have nothing bad to say about this place. I just need to be somewhere else.” It is in writing now, which changes what Valerenga can pretend not to have heard.

The terraces

Valerenga sell a favourite for $13.0M

The accountants will call it good business and they will be right, which is not the point anybody outside the boardroom is making. Bop Guèye was one of the reasons people came, and $13.0M does not replace that by itself.

Squad

René Schäfer says Valerenga went back on their word

“I was told what my role would be, and I signed on that basis. It has not happened.” A grievance with a date attached is the hardest kind to settle.

Match

Still nobody has beaten Valerenga

The unbeaten run reaches 8. Some of them were wins and some were escapes, but a side that refuses to lose is a side other dressing rooms talk about.

Squad

Kadir Seven stays put

“The easiest signature of my career.” Kadir Seven and Valerenga agree another 3 years, and the manager can plan around him rather than about him.

In brief

619 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

7 Jun 2038
From our football correspondent Steady

Market

Thiago Cáceres asks to leave Valerenga

“I have given everything here and I need a new challenge.” The request is formal, and the relationship will never be quite the same again.

Squad

Brice Ambina signs a new deal

“I never wanted to be anywhere else. There is unfinished business here.” Brice Ambina commits to Valerenga for another 2 years.

Squad

Tempers go at Valerenga

Aaron Kiil Olsen was at the centre of it, and by the time it was pulled apart there were three or four others involved. Training grounds are small places and long seasons make them smaller.

Market

Eduardo Gomes wants to know where this is going

“I want to win things, and I would like to do it here.” Nothing has been demanded and nothing has been threatened — but a boardroom at Valerenga hears a sentence like that exactly as it was built.

Match

Whatever happens, Valerenga do not lose

7 games unbeaten now. Some were earned and some were survived, but a habit is forming — and habits are the hardest thing in football to play against.

Market

The Bop Guèye conversation is coming

Everyone has stopped pretending: Lech will make the call about Bop Guèye this week. Valerenga have a number in mind, and the number is not shy.

Squad

Words at Valerenga training over how hard people work

Somebody said out loud what several people had been thinking. Filip Thorvaldsen is at the centre of it, and the squad will now find out whether the standard rises or the pair of them simply stop speaking.

Boardroom

$1.1M of the owner's money at Valerenga

The shortfall was covered from upstairs again. Supporters are entitled to be relieved and entitled to ask what happens the month it is not, and both feelings usually arrive together.

Player ratings

Eduardo Gomes was on a different afternoon to everybody else

8.72. There are performances a supporter describes to somebody who was not there and cannot quite convey; this was one, and the number does not help either.

In brief

618 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

31 May 2038
From our football correspondent Steady

Squad

A knee injury of the worst kind for Tobias Ryerson

16 days on the estimate, and a long, private, unglamorous year of a rehabilitation nobody watches. Valerenga lose a footballer; he loses considerably more than a season.

Squad

A one-man rearguard from Max Merrick

There were 7 saves in it, and at least three that had no business being saves at all. The ten outfield players owe him a drink and they know it.

Player ratings

Tommy Pilling, 33, rolls back the years — 9.23

There is an age at which every good afternoon gets described as a throwback, which is unfair and also accurate. 9.23 at 33, and nobody on the pitch was better.

Market

Fernando Rodrigues hands in a written request

“I have nothing bad to say about this place. I just need to be somewhere else.” It is in writing now, which changes what Valerenga can pretend not to have heard.

Player ratings

Nobody could get near Bop Guèye

Successful dribbles: 24. Every time he got the ball somebody had to make a decision, and every time the decision was wrong.

Market

Morten Svensson is on his way

The clubs have agreed terms, and what remains is formality: a medical, a photograph, a signature. Nobody at Valerenga is pretending he will be back in the shirt.

Squad

Tempers go at Valerenga

Max Merrick was at the centre of it, and by the time it was pulled apart there were three or four others involved. Training grounds are small places and long seasons make them smaller.

Squad

Aaron Kiil Olsen falls out with a teammate over standards

The oldest argument in any dressing room and the only one that is genuinely about football: one man thinks another is not putting enough in. It is also the row a manager privately does not mind having happened.

Match

Whatever happens, Valerenga do not lose

6 games unbeaten now. Some were earned and some were survived, but a habit is forming — and habits are the hardest thing in football to play against.

In brief

617 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

24 May 2038
From our football correspondent Steady

Squad

A knee injury of the worst kind for Tobias Ryerson

23 days on the estimate, and a long, private, unglamorous year of a rehabilitation nobody watches. Valerenga lose a footballer; he loses considerably more than a season.

Market

Anwar Moutawafiq hands in a written request

“I have nothing bad to say about this place. I just need to be somewhere else.” It is in writing now, which changes what Valerenga can pretend not to have heard.

Player ratings

Age has not caught Tommy Pilling yet — 9.45

At 33 he is supposed to be managing his minutes. Instead he was marked 9.45 and looked, for ninety minutes, exactly like the player everybody remembers.

Player ratings

Nobody could get near Eduardo Gomes

Successful dribbles: 26. Every time he got the ball somebody had to make a decision, and every time the decision was wrong.

Squad

Max Merrick in a row with a teammate

It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Valerenga this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.

Squad

Words at Valerenga training over how hard people work

Somebody said out loud what several people had been thinking. Aaron Kiil Olsen is at the centre of it, and the squad will now find out whether the standard rises or the pair of them simply stop speaking.

Player ratings

Bop Guèye was on a different afternoon to everybody else

9.21. There are performances a supporter describes to somebody who was not there and cannot quite convey; this was one, and the number does not help either.

Match

Bop Guèye the difference as Valerenga beat Mjondalen

Ask anyone on the way out what separated the sides and you will get one name: Bop Guèye. 2‑1 against Mjondalen, and the applause at the whistle was mostly his.

Squad

Brice Ambina dropped after a run of poor form

The one version of being left out a player cannot argue with, and the one he takes worst. Somebody else has been better and the team sheet says so, in public, every week until it changes.

In brief

616 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

17 May 2038
From our football correspondent Steady

Squad

A knee injury of the worst kind for Tobias Ryerson

30 days on the estimate, and a long, private, unglamorous year of a rehabilitation nobody watches. Valerenga lose a footballer; he loses considerably more than a season.

Player ratings

Filip Thorvaldsen scores twice — 8.30

Two goals and a mark of 8.30 to go with them. Strikers are judged on afternoons like this one and remembered for far fewer of them than people imagine.

Player ratings

Age has not caught Aaron Kiil Olsen yet — 8.05

At 37 he is supposed to be managing his minutes. Instead he was marked 8.05 and looked, for ninety minutes, exactly like the player everybody remembers.

Market

Jose Reis puts it in writing

“This is not anger. I have thought about it for months, and nothing that has happened lately changed my mind.” The request is on a desk at Valerenga, and it is not being withdrawn.

Squad

Aaron Kiil Olsen in a row with a teammate

It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Valerenga this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.

Market

Liam Doyle has one foot out of the door

Terms are settled between the clubs and the rest is paperwork and a photograph. Around Valerenga they have already started talking about him in the past tense.

Match

Nobody could stop scoring

6 goals. Both benches spent the second half looking at each other rather than at the pitch. Purists will complain about Valerenga and Odd in equal measure; everybody else had a wonderful time.

Squad

Filip Thorvaldsen falls out with a teammate over standards

The oldest argument in any dressing room and the only one that is genuinely about football: one man thinks another is not putting enough in. It is also the row a manager privately does not mind having happened.

Player ratings

Ninety minutes of Bop Guèye at his very best

Marked 8.82. Players have careers without a single afternoon like this in them, and he has just had one in front of everybody at Valerenga.

In brief

615 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

10 May 2038
From our football correspondent Steady

Match

Valerenga bow out of the cup

Aalesund go through and Valerenga go home, 0‑0 the scoreline that did it. The dressing room will call the league the priority now, because that is what dressing rooms say.

Player ratings

Nothing got past Kadir Seven

31 defensive actions and a clean sheet at the end of them. A defender's afternoon can only be told by what did not happen, which is why nobody makes a highlights package out of one and every manager in the division would take it.

Squad

Kuba Bochniarz is the hero from the spot

A shoot-out is remembered by its ending, and this one ends with Kuba Bochniarz: 1 kept out, and a set of supporters who will describe every one of them for the next twenty years.

Market

João Felisberto puts it in writing

“This is not anger. I have thought about it for months, and nothing that has happened lately changed my mind.” The request is on a desk at Valerenga, and it is not being withdrawn.

Player ratings

Nothing got past Jakub Nowiński

26 defensive actions and a clean sheet at the end of them. A defender's afternoon can only be told by what did not happen, which is why nobody makes a highlights package out of one and every manager in the division would take it.

Squad

Youssouf Fofana in a row with a teammate

It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Valerenga this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.

Player ratings

Eduardo Gomes runs at them all day

Successful dribbles: 22. There is a particular sort of despair on a full-back's face by the seventieth minute, and it was on display.

Market

Maximiliano Porcel wants European nights

The general version of this complaint is that a player wants more. The specific version names the thing: he wants to walk out under floodlights against clubs from other countries, and he has stopped pretending otherwise.

Squad

Words at Valerenga training over how hard people work

Somebody said out loud what several people had been thinking. Aaron Kiil Olsen is at the centre of it, and the squad will now find out whether the standard rises or the pair of them simply stop speaking.

In brief

614 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

3 May 2038
From our football correspondent Steady

Squad

Hakon Lien damages knee ligaments — 14 days out

The words a physio says slowly. 14 days is what the club will announce and everybody who has heard this diagnosis before knows the number is the least of it: the knee comes back before the player does.

Market

Tom Stuckey asks to leave Valerenga

“I have given everything here and I need a new challenge.” The request is formal, and the relationship will never be quite the same again.

Market

Only the photograph left for Morten Svensson

Fee agreed, terms agreed, medical booked. Morten Svensson will be somebody else’s player by the weekend, and around Valerenga the goodbyes have quietly begun.

Squad

Tempers go at Valerenga

Youssouf Fofana was at the centre of it, and by the time it was pulled apart there were three or four others involved. Training grounds are small places and long seasons make them smaller.

Squad

Aaron Kiil Olsen falls out with a teammate over standards

The oldest argument in any dressing room and the only one that is genuinely about football: one man thinks another is not putting enough in. It is also the row a manager privately does not mind having happened.

Boardroom

The owner puts $638.3K into Valerenga

This is money that keeps the lights on rather than money that buys a centre-half, and the difference is the whole story. A club funded by its owner rather than by its football has exactly one conversation left ahead of it.

Boardroom

Valerenga cannot sign anybody

The embargo bars a fee being paid for a player, whatever the manager thinks the squad needs. Every rumour printed about this club between now and its lifting is a rumour about a deal that cannot happen.

Squad

No hiding place for Vicente Santos

“I pick players who do the work. All of it.” No name was spoken; every camera still turned to Vicente Santos, and the manager let it.

Player ratings

Ninety minutes of Bop Guèye at his very best

Marked 8.42. Players have careers without a single afternoon like this in them, and he has just had one in front of everybody at Valerenga.

In brief

613 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

26 Apr 2038
From our football correspondent Crisis

Squad

Hakon Lien damages knee ligaments — 21 days out

The words a physio says slowly. 21 days is what the club will announce and everybody who has heard this diagnosis before knows the number is the least of it: the knee comes back before the player does.

Boardroom

The numbers do not look good at Valerenga

Wages have outrun income and the accountants have started attending meetings they used to send apologies to. Ambition comes second in a season like this.

Market

Camilo Salamanca puts it in writing

“This is not anger. I have thought about it for months, and nothing that has happened lately changed my mind.” The request is on a desk at Valerenga, and it is not being withdrawn.

Squad

Youssouf Fofana in a row with a teammate

It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Valerenga this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.

Squad

Words at Valerenga training over how hard people work

Somebody said out loud what several people had been thinking. Filip Thorvaldsen is at the centre of it, and the squad will now find out whether the standard rises or the pair of them simply stop speaking.

Squad

No hiding place for Aaron Kiil Olsen

“I pick players who do the work. All of it.” No name was spoken; every camera still turned to Aaron Kiil Olsen, and the manager let it.

Match

Tromso take the points off Valerenga

Beaten 1‑3, and beaten fairly. The manager kept his words short afterwards, which was probably wise.

Player ratings

Ninety minutes of Filip Thorvaldsen at his very best

Marked 8.31. Players have careers without a single afternoon like this in them, and he has just had one in front of everybody at Valerenga.

Market

The Bop Guèye talk will not go away

Another week, another link, another denial nobody quite believes. Valerenga know the market decides these things, not the back pages — but the back pages are louder.

In brief

612 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

19 Apr 2038
From our football correspondent Steady

Squad

Hakon Lien damages knee ligaments — 28 days out

The words a physio says slowly. 28 days is what the club will announce and everybody who has heard this diagnosis before knows the number is the least of it: the knee comes back before the player does.

Match

Valerenga run riot against Aalesund

4‑1, and the margin flattered nobody — it could have carried another goal or two without complaint. Afternoons like this are why people keep coming.

Player ratings

A brace, and Eduardo Gomes takes the afternoon — 9.73

There is a particular kind of quiet from an away end watching one man score twice. Eduardo Gomes provided it, and the 9.73 beside his name is if anything generous to everybody else.

Market

Kuba Bochniarz puts it in writing

“This is not anger. I have thought about it for months, and nothing that has happened lately changed my mind.” The request is on a desk at Valerenga, and it is not being withdrawn.

Squad

Tempers go at Valerenga

Youssouf Fofana was at the centre of it, and by the time it was pulled apart there were three or four others involved. Training grounds are small places and long seasons make them smaller.

Market

Liam Doyle has one foot out of the door

Terms are settled between the clubs and the rest is paperwork and a photograph. Around Valerenga they have already started talking about him in the past tense.

Player ratings

A masterclass from Bop Guèye

Marked 10.00 — the sort of number a correspondent writes down twice to be sure. Everything he tried came off, and what he did not try was not worth trying.

Squad

Aaron Kiil Olsen falls out with a teammate over standards

The oldest argument in any dressing room and the only one that is genuinely about football: one man thinks another is not putting enough in. It is also the row a manager privately does not mind having happened.

Squad

No hiding place for Brice Ambina

“I pick players who do the work. All of it.” No name was spoken; every camera still turned to Brice Ambina, and the manager let it.

In brief

611 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

12 Apr 2038
From our football correspondent Crisis

Squad

Hakon Lien damages knee ligaments — 35 days out

The words a physio says slowly. 35 days is what the club will announce and everybody who has heard this diagnosis before knows the number is the least of it: the knee comes back before the player does.

Market

João Felisberto asks to leave Valerenga

“I have given everything here and I need a new challenge.” The request is formal, and the relationship will never be quite the same again.

Player ratings

Age has not caught Aaron Kiil Olsen yet — 8.13

At 36 he is supposed to be managing his minutes. Instead he was marked 8.13 and looked, for ninety minutes, exactly like the player everybody remembers.

Market

Youssouf Fofana wants to know where this is going

“I want to win things, and I would like to do it here.” Nothing has been demanded and nothing has been threatened — but a boardroom at Valerenga hears a sentence like that exactly as it was built.

Squad

Youssouf Fofana in a row with a teammate

It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Valerenga this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.

Match

6 goals as Valerenga and Bodo/Glimt go for it

Defending was optional and nobody took up the option. 6 goals between Valerenga and Bodo/Glimt, and not one of the people who paid to be there will ask for the money back.

Squad

Words at Valerenga training over how hard people work

Somebody said out loud what several people had been thinking. Aaron Kiil Olsen is at the centre of it, and the squad will now find out whether the standard rises or the pair of them simply stop speaking.

Match

Aaron Kiil Olsen’s goal not enough for Valerenga

Aaron Kiil Olsen scored, and precious little else went right: 2‑4 to Bodo/Glimt, and a quiet walk to the dressing room.

Boardroom

11 academy players handed senior numbers at Valerenga

The morning the pathway stops being a brochure and becomes a team sheet. Most of them will not be here in three years; all of them have already done the hard part, which was getting to today.

In brief

610 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

5 Apr 2038
From our football correspondent Steady

Squad

Hakon Lien damages knee ligaments — 42 days out

The words a physio says slowly. 42 days is what the club will announce and everybody who has heard this diagnosis before knows the number is the least of it: the knee comes back before the player does.

Boardroom

Valerenga spell it out for Interim Coach

The board’s statement ran to three sentences and one of them mentioned results. Interim Coach has managed long enough to translate: win soon, or the next statement is shorter.

Boardroom

The Valerenga board call everybody in

Nothing has been announced and everybody understands what it means. A board that summons the whole football department on a Tuesday morning is a board that has stopped believing the problem will fix itself.

Market

Fernando Rodrigues puts it in writing

“This is not anger. I have thought about it for months, and nothing that has happened lately changed my mind.” The request is on a desk at Valerenga, and it is not being withdrawn.

Squad

Youssouf Fofana out for 16 days

The medical room confirms 16 days on the sidelines for Youssouf Fofana, and a plan built around him now has to be rebuilt.

Market

Filip Thorvaldsen raises the bar for Valerenga

“I want to be playing for trophies while my legs still let me.” Nothing in that sentence is a transfer request, and nobody at Valerenga heard it as anything else.

Boardroom

The Valerenga board want somebody sold

The instruction has come from upstairs rather than from the dugout, which is the version of this conversation no manager enjoys. Somebody in that squad is now available whether the man who picks the team thinks so or not.

Squad

Aaron Kiil Olsen stays put

“The easiest signature of my career.” Aaron Kiil Olsen and Valerenga agree another 2 years, and the manager can plan around him rather than about him.

Market

Morten Svensson is on his way

The clubs have agreed terms, and what remains is formality: a medical, a photograph, a signature. Nobody at Valerenga is pretending he will be back in the shirt.

In brief

609 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

29 Mar 2038
From our football correspondent Uneasy

Boardroom

The numbers do not look good at Valerenga

Wages have outrun income and the accountants have started attending meetings they used to send apologies to. Ambition comes second in a season like this.

Market

Thiago Cáceres puts it in writing

“This is not anger. I have thought about it for months, and nothing that has happened lately changed my mind.” The request is on a desk at Valerenga, and it is not being withdrawn.

Squad

Lamin Njie keeps the receipts

“I remember the meeting. I remember exactly what was promised in it.” Valerenga may remember it differently, which is precisely the problem.

Squad

Youssouf Fofana in a row with a teammate

It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Valerenga this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.

Squad

Words at Valerenga training over how hard people work

Somebody said out loud what several people had been thinking. Aaron Kiil Olsen is at the centre of it, and the squad will now find out whether the standard rises or the pair of them simply stop speaking.

Market

Eyes on Liam Doyle again

The phone has started ringing about Liam Doyle again, and this time the name on the line is Stromsgodset. Valerenga are listening politely and promising nothing.

In brief

608 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

22 Mar 2038
From our football correspondent Uneasy

Boardroom

The scrutiny sharpens at Valerenga

Nobody upstairs has said anything, which is the loudest thing they could do. Results buy silence in this game; the account at Valerenga is running low.

Market

Josef Baccay puts it in writing

“This is not anger. I have thought about it for months, and nothing that has happened lately changed my mind.” The request is on a desk at Valerenga, and it is not being withdrawn.

Market

Valerenga say no — this time

The offer from Sarpsborg 08 for Bjorn Odegaard was heard out and sent back the same day. First bids are rarely meant to succeed; they are meant to find out how loudly the door closes.

Squad

Tempers go at Valerenga

Youssouf Fofana was at the centre of it, and by the time it was pulled apart there were three or four others involved. Training grounds are small places and long seasons make them smaller.

Squad

Aaron Kiil Olsen falls out with a teammate over standards

The oldest argument in any dressing room and the only one that is genuinely about football: one man thinks another is not putting enough in. It is also the row a manager privately does not mind having happened.

Squad

No hiding place for Vicente Santos

“I pick players who do the work. All of it.” No name was spoken; every camera still turned to Vicente Santos, and the manager let it.

In brief

607 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

15 Mar 2038
From our football correspondent Uneasy

Market

Camilo Salamanca puts it in writing

“This is not anger. I have thought about it for months, and nothing that has happened lately changed my mind.” The request is on a desk at Valerenga, and it is not being withdrawn.

Squad

Words at Valerenga training over how hard people work

Somebody said out loud what several people had been thinking. Filip Thorvaldsen is at the centre of it, and the squad will now find out whether the standard rises or the pair of them simply stop speaking.

Squad

Tempers go at Valerenga

Kadir Seven was at the centre of it, and by the time it was pulled apart there were three or four others involved. Training grounds are small places and long seasons make them smaller.

Market

Morten Svensson attracts admirers

The name of Morten Svensson has come up in conversations Valerenga were not part of. Nothing formal, nothing signed — but nothing about it accidental either.

Squad

Fernando Rodrigues wants to go home

“I have given this everything, but my family is not here and neither am I, not really.” A footballer can be coached out of bad form. Nobody has ever been coached out of this, and Valerenga know it.

Squad

Valerenga count the cost of losing Bjorn Daehli

15 days, the scan says, and scans are kinder than reality. The fixtures in that window have just become somebody else’s job.

In brief

606 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

8 Mar 2038
From our football correspondent Uneasy

Boardroom

Interim Coach has until the next board meeting

What was said behind closed doors has now been said in front of a microphone. Everybody at Valerenga can do the arithmetic, including the man it is aimed at.

Boardroom

The Valerenga board call everybody in

Nothing has been announced and everybody understands what it means. A board that summons the whole football department on a Tuesday morning is a board that has stopped believing the problem will fix itself.

Market

Valerenga turn down Molde for Max Merrick

The offer was not close and it was refused without much discussion. Whether the second one is refused as quickly is another matter.

Market

Fernando Rodrigues asks to leave Valerenga

“I have given everything here and I need a new challenge.” The request is formal, and the relationship will never be quite the same again.

Squad

Valerenga count the cost of losing Youssouf Fofana

44 days, the scan says, and scans are kinder than reality. The fixtures in that window have just become somebody else’s job.

Boardroom

The Valerenga board want somebody sold

The instruction has come from upstairs rather than from the dugout, which is the version of this conversation no manager enjoys. Somebody in that squad is now available whether the man who picks the team thinks so or not.

Squad

Bop Guèye stays put

“The easiest signature of my career.” Bop Guèye and Valerenga agree another 3 years, and the manager can plan around him rather than about him.

Squad

Tempers go at Valerenga

Youssouf Fofana was at the centre of it, and by the time it was pulled apart there were three or four others involved. Training grounds are small places and long seasons make them smaller.

Market

Valerenga may not be able to give Maximiliano Porcel what he wants

It is the most legitimate ambition in the sport and the hardest for most clubs to satisfy. Maximiliano Porcel wants continental football; whether Valerenga can provide it is a question about the next two seasons, not about him.

In brief

605 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

1 Mar 2038
From our football correspondent Uneasy

Squad

A fracture rules Bendik Berntsen out for 15 days

Bones knit. That is the one merciful thing about this injury and the reason Valerenga will talk about it more openly than they would about a knee. He will be back, and roughly when they say.

Market

Anwar Moutawafiq hands in a written request

“I have nothing bad to say about this place. I just need to be somewhere else.” It is in writing now, which changes what Valerenga can pretend not to have heard.

Boardroom

The numbers do not look good at Valerenga

Wages have outrun income and the accountants have started attending meetings they used to send apologies to. Ambition comes second in a season like this.

Market

Eyes on Max Merrick again

The phone has started ringing about Max Merrick again, and this time the name on the line is Molde. Valerenga are listening politely and promising nothing.

Market

Eduardo Gomes raises the bar for Valerenga

“I want to be playing for trophies while my legs still let me.” Nothing in that sentence is a transfer request, and nobody at Valerenga heard it as anything else.

Squad

Youssouf Fofana in a row with a teammate

It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Valerenga this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.

Squad

Words at Valerenga training over how hard people work

Somebody said out loud what several people had been thinking. Kadir Seven is at the centre of it, and the squad will now find out whether the standard rises or the pair of them simply stop speaking.

Squad

Home is on Luka Dajčer's mind

“Some mornings you wake up and you are still a long way from everything you know.” It is not the football and it never was; Valerenga are dealing with a man who wants a different country.

Market

Viking expected to open talks for Morten Svensson

Both sides expect a conversation in the coming days. Valerenga will name a price, and everything after that is arithmetic.

In brief

  • The terraces Supporters make their feelings known about Max Merrick
  • Boardroom Valerenga answer back
604 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

22 Feb 2038
From our football correspondent Uneasy

Boardroom

Pressure builds in the Valerenga boardroom

The directors have stopped offering the manager public warmth. In football that is usually the stage before the short statement.

Squad

A fracture rules Bendik Berntsen out for 22 days

Bones knit. That is the one merciful thing about this injury and the reason Valerenga will talk about it more openly than they would about a knee. He will be back, and roughly when they say.

Market

Max Merrick hands in a written request

“I have nothing bad to say about this place. I just need to be somewhere else.” It is in writing now, which changes what Valerenga can pretend not to have heard.

Market

Filip Thorvaldsen wants European nights

The general version of this complaint is that a player wants more. The specific version names the thing: he wants to walk out under floodlights against clubs from other countries, and he has stopped pretending otherwise.

Squad

Aaron Kiil Olsen in a row with a teammate

It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Valerenga this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.

Squad

Filip Thorvaldsen falls out with a teammate over standards

The oldest argument in any dressing room and the only one that is genuinely about football: one man thinks another is not putting enough in. It is also the row a manager privately does not mind having happened.

In brief

603 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

15 Feb 2038
From our football correspondent Uneasy

Squad

A fracture rules Bendik Berntsen out for 29 days

Bones knit. That is the one merciful thing about this injury and the reason Valerenga will talk about it more openly than they would about a knee. He will be back, and roughly when they say.

Market

Bendik Berntsen asks to leave Valerenga

“I have given everything here and I need a new challenge.” The request is formal, and the relationship will never be quite the same again.

Squad

Youssouf Fofana in a row with a teammate

It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Valerenga this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.

Squad

Words at Valerenga training over how hard people work

Somebody said out loud what several people had been thinking. Aaron Kiil Olsen is at the centre of it, and the squad will now find out whether the standard rises or the pair of them simply stop speaking.

Market

Stromsgodset watching Liam Doyle

The interest is real enough to have reached print. Valerenga have said nothing, which in a transfer window is its own kind of answer.

Market

Still no ink between Valerenga and Yann Bonnet

“We keep meeting, and we keep leaving the room with the same numbers we walked in with.” Another round of talks at Valerenga, another week without a signature from Yann Bonnet.

In brief

602 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

8 Feb 2038
From our football correspondent Uneasy

Boardroom

Valerenga put Interim Coach on notice

The board have said in public what they had been saying in private. Results between now and the next meeting decide it, and everybody in the building knows the arithmetic.

Squad

A fracture rules Bendik Berntsen out for 36 days

Bones knit. That is the one merciful thing about this injury and the reason Valerenga will talk about it more openly than they would about a knee. He will be back, and roughly when they say.

Boardroom

The Valerenga board call everybody in

Nothing has been announced and everybody understands what it means. A board that summons the whole football department on a Tuesday morning is a board that has stopped believing the problem will fix itself.

Market

Luka Dajčer hands in a written request

“I have nothing bad to say about this place. I just need to be somewhere else.” It is in writing now, which changes what Valerenga can pretend not to have heard.

Squad

Valerenga lose Youssouf Fofana

72 days, the medical staff say, and medical staff are optimists by profession. The team sheet will look wrong without him.

Boardroom

The Valerenga board want somebody sold

The instruction has come from upstairs rather than from the dugout, which is the version of this conversation no manager enjoys. Somebody in that squad is now available whether the man who picks the team thinks so or not.

Market

Odd come back empty-handed

The bid was some way short and Valerenga did not need long over it. Nobody in the game reads a first refusal as the end of anything.

Squad

Tempers go at Valerenga

Youssouf Fofana was at the centre of it, and by the time it was pulled apart there were three or four others involved. Training grounds are small places and long seasons make them smaller.

Squad

Aaron Kiil Olsen falls out with a teammate over standards

The oldest argument in any dressing room and the only one that is genuinely about football: one man thinks another is not putting enough in. It is also the row a manager privately does not mind having happened.

In brief

601 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

1 Feb 2038
From our football correspondent Uneasy

Squad

A fracture rules Bendik Berntsen out for 43 days

Bones knit. That is the one merciful thing about this injury and the reason Valerenga will talk about it more openly than they would about a knee. He will be back, and roughly when they say.

Market

Taha Usman asks to leave Valerenga

“I have given everything here and I need a new challenge.” The request is formal, and the relationship will never be quite the same again.

Market

Taha Usman is on his way

The clubs have agreed terms, and what remains is formality: a medical, a photograph, a signature. Nobody at Valerenga is pretending he will be back in the shirt.

Boardroom

The numbers do not look good at Valerenga

Wages have outrun income and the accountants have started attending meetings they used to send apologies to. Ambition comes second in a season like this.

Squad

Tempers go at Valerenga

Aaron Kiil Olsen was at the centre of it, and by the time it was pulled apart there were three or four others involved. Training grounds are small places and long seasons make them smaller.

Squad

Words at Valerenga training over how hard people work

Somebody said out loud what several people had been thinking. Filip Thorvaldsen is at the centre of it, and the squad will now find out whether the standard rises or the pair of them simply stop speaking.

In brief

600 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

25 Jan 2038
From our football correspondent Uneasy

Boardroom

The silence upstairs is getting loud at Valerenga

Nobody on the board has said anything against the manager, which is the point — they have stopped saying anything for him either.

Squad

A fracture rules Bendik Berntsen out for 50 days

Bones knit. That is the one merciful thing about this injury and the reason Valerenga will talk about it more openly than they would about a knee. He will be back, and roughly when they say.

Market

Anwar Moutawafiq asks to leave Valerenga

“I have given everything here and I need a new challenge.” The request is formal, and the relationship will never be quite the same again.

Market

Only the photograph left for Bjorn Odegaard

Fee agreed, terms agreed, medical booked. Bjorn Odegaard will be somebody else’s player by the weekend, and around Valerenga the goodbyes have quietly begun.

Squad

Aaron Kiil Olsen falls out with a teammate over standards

The oldest argument in any dressing room and the only one that is genuinely about football: one man thinks another is not putting enough in. It is also the row a manager privately does not mind having happened.

Squad

Tempers go at Valerenga

Anwar Moutawafiq was at the centre of it, and by the time it was pulled apart there were three or four others involved. Training grounds are small places and long seasons make them smaller.

In brief

599 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

18 Jan 2038
From our football correspondent Uneasy

Squad

A fracture rules Bendik Berntsen out for 57 days

Bones knit. That is the one merciful thing about this injury and the reason Valerenga will talk about it more openly than they would about a knee. He will be back, and roughly when they say.

Market

Max Merrick asks to leave Valerenga

“I have given everything here and I need a new challenge.” The request is formal, and the relationship will never be quite the same again.

Squad

Max Merrick in a row with a teammate

It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Valerenga this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.

Squad

Karl Steinmann falls out with a teammate over standards

The oldest argument in any dressing room and the only one that is genuinely about football: one man thinks another is not putting enough in. It is also the row a manager privately does not mind having happened.

Squad

No hiding place for Vicente Santos

“I pick players who do the work. All of it.” No name was spoken; every camera still turned to Vicente Santos, and the manager let it.

Market

Still no ink between Valerenga and Yann Bonnet

“We keep meeting, and we keep leaving the room with the same numbers we walked in with.” Another round of talks at Valerenga, another week without a signature from Yann Bonnet.

In brief

598 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

11 Jan 2038
From our football correspondent Uneasy

Squad

A fracture rules Bendik Berntsen out for 64 days

Bones knit. That is the one merciful thing about this injury and the reason Valerenga will talk about it more openly than they would about a knee. He will be back, and roughly when they say.

Market

João Felisberto asks to leave Valerenga

“I have given everything here and I need a new challenge.” The request is formal, and the relationship will never be quite the same again.

Market

Youssouf Fofana raises the bar for Valerenga

“I want to be playing for trophies while my legs still let me.” Nothing in that sentence is a transfer request, and nobody at Valerenga heard it as anything else.

Squad

Tempers go at Valerenga

Youssouf Fofana was at the centre of it, and by the time it was pulled apart there were three or four others involved. Training grounds are small places and long seasons make them smaller.

Squad

Filip Thorvaldsen falls out with a teammate over standards

The oldest argument in any dressing room and the only one that is genuinely about football: one man thinks another is not putting enough in. It is also the row a manager privately does not mind having happened.

Boardroom

Valerenga are $93.7M in the red

The borrowing is past what the bank agreed, which is the line where a debt stops being how football is financed and starts being a problem. Every phone-in in this town will quote the figure for the next five years.

In brief

597 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

4 Jan 2038
From our football correspondent Uneasy

Squad

A fracture rules Bendik Berntsen out for 71 days

Bones knit. That is the one merciful thing about this injury and the reason Valerenga will talk about it more openly than they would about a knee. He will be back, and roughly when they say.

Boardroom

Valerenga put Interim Coach on notice

The board have said in public what they had been saying in private. Results between now and the next meeting decide it, and everybody in the building knows the arithmetic.

Boardroom

Crisis meeting at Valerenga

The official line will be that it was routine. It was not routine, the timing says so, and every person in that room knows what the next bad result costs.

Market

Only the photograph left for Taha Usman

Fee agreed, terms agreed, medical booked. Taha Usman will be somebody else’s player by the weekend, and around Valerenga the goodbyes have quietly begun.

Boardroom

The numbers do not look good at Valerenga

Wages have outrun income and the accountants have started attending meetings they used to send apologies to. Ambition comes second in a season like this.

Market

Luka Dajčer puts it in writing

“This is not anger. I have thought about it for months, and nothing that has happened lately changed my mind.” The request is on a desk at Valerenga, and it is not being withdrawn.

Squad

Lamin Njie: that is not what I was promised

“Things were said to me before I signed. I am not going to repeat them, but I remember all of them.” Valerenga have not answered, which is an answer of sorts.

Market

Filip Thorvaldsen wants more than Valerenga are offering

“I have ambitions, and I would like the club to share them.” Nobody has asked to leave and nobody has been shown the door — but a player chooses that sentence carefully, and a boardroom hears it exactly as it was meant.

Boardroom

An order from above at Valerenga: somebody has to go

Balance sheets do not care about form or about who the manager was planning to build around. The board have decided a sale is required, and the only question left is which name ends up carrying it.

In brief

596 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

28 Dec 2037
From our football correspondent Uneasy

Boardroom

The scrutiny sharpens at Valerenga

Nobody upstairs has said anything, which is the loudest thing they could do. Results buy silence in this game; the account at Valerenga is running low.

Squad

A fracture rules Jonas Thorsby out for 45 days

Bones knit. That is the one merciful thing about this injury and the reason Valerenga will talk about it more openly than they would about a knee. He will be back, and roughly when they say.

Market

Anwar Moutawafiq puts it in writing

“This is not anger. I have thought about it for months, and nothing that has happened lately changed my mind.” The request is on a desk at Valerenga, and it is not being withdrawn.

Market

Bjorn Odegaard has one foot out of the door

Terms are settled between the clubs and the rest is paperwork and a photograph. Around Valerenga they have already started talking about him in the past tense.

Squad

Tempers go at Valerenga

Max Merrick was at the centre of it, and by the time it was pulled apart there were three or four others involved. Training grounds are small places and long seasons make them smaller.

Squad

Aaron Kiil Olsen falls out with a teammate over standards

The oldest argument in any dressing room and the only one that is genuinely about football: one man thinks another is not putting enough in. It is also the row a manager privately does not mind having happened.

In brief

595 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

21 Dec 2037
From our football correspondent Uneasy

Market

Max Merrick puts it in writing

“This is not anger. I have thought about it for months, and nothing that has happened lately changed my mind.” The request is on a desk at Valerenga, and it is not being withdrawn.

Market

Valerenga may not be able to give Filip Thorvaldsen what he wants

It is the most legitimate ambition in the sport and the hardest for most clubs to satisfy. Filip Thorvaldsen wants continental football; whether Valerenga can provide it is a question about the next two seasons, not about him.

Squad

Tempers go at Valerenga

Aaron Kiil Olsen was at the centre of it, and by the time it was pulled apart there were three or four others involved. Training grounds are small places and long seasons make them smaller.

Squad

Words at Valerenga training over how hard people work

Somebody said out loud what several people had been thinking. Filip Thorvaldsen is at the centre of it, and the squad will now find out whether the standard rises or the pair of them simply stop speaking.

Boardroom

102% of the income goes out in wages at Valerenga

Every club in football pays most of what it earns to its players. Paying nearly all of it is a different arrangement, and it has ended the same way every time somebody has tried it.

Squad

Brice Ambina has become a man the manager trusts

Nobody at Valerenga will say this on the record and the team sheets have been saying it for weeks. There is a small group in every squad who get picked when the fixture is difficult, and he has joined it.

In brief

594 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

14 Dec 2037
From our football correspondent Uneasy

Market

Liam Doyle puts it in writing

“This is not anger. I have thought about it for months, and nothing that has happened lately changed my mind.” The request is on a desk at Valerenga, and it is not being withdrawn.

Squad

Tempers go at Valerenga

Max Merrick was at the centre of it, and by the time it was pulled apart there were three or four others involved. Training grounds are small places and long seasons make them smaller.

Squad

Aaron Kiil Olsen falls out with a teammate over standards

The oldest argument in any dressing room and the only one that is genuinely about football: one man thinks another is not putting enough in. It is also the row a manager privately does not mind having happened.

Squad

Vicente Santos gets it from the manager

“Nobody here is above being told.” It was not said with a name attached, but the dressing room can count, and so can everybody who was listening.

Boardroom

Valerenga are $93.3M in the red

The borrowing is past what the bank agreed, which is the line where a debt stops being how football is financed and starts being a problem. Every phone-in in this town will quote the figure for the next five years.

Squad

Aaron Kiil Olsen has become a man the manager trusts

Nobody at Valerenga will say this on the record and the team sheets have been saying it for weeks. There is a small group in every squad who get picked when the fixture is difficult, and he has joined it.

In brief

593 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

7 Dec 2037
From our football correspondent Uneasy

Boardroom

Valerenga are in Europe

Qualification is done, and next season the floodlights come on for something bigger. A stage for the players, oxygen for the accounts and a passport for everybody else.

Boardroom

Valerenga spell it out for Interim Coach

The board’s statement ran to three sentences and one of them mentioned results. Interim Coach has managed long enough to translate: win soon, or the next statement is shorter.

Market

Taha Usman is on his way

The clubs have agreed terms, and what remains is formality: a medical, a photograph, a signature. Nobody at Valerenga is pretending he will be back in the shirt.

Squad

A fracture rules Jonas Thorsby out for 16 days

Bones knit. That is the one merciful thing about this injury and the reason Valerenga will talk about it more openly than they would about a knee. He will be back, and roughly when they say.

Boardroom

The numbers do not look good at Valerenga

Wages have outrun income and the accountants have started attending meetings they used to send apologies to. Ambition comes second in a season like this.

Market

Luka Dajčer puts it in writing

“This is not anger. I have thought about it for months, and nothing that has happened lately changed my mind.” The request is on a desk at Valerenga, and it is not being withdrawn.

Squad

10 seasons of Bop Guèye

342 appearances across 10 seasons in these colours. Careers like that are not built any more, and Valerenga know what they have.

Boardroom

An order from above at Valerenga: somebody has to go

Balance sheets do not care about form or about who the manager was planning to build around. The board have decided a sale is required, and the only question left is which name ends up carrying it.

Squad

Words at Valerenga training over how hard people work

Somebody said out loud what several people had been thinking. Aaron Kiil Olsen is at the centre of it, and the squad will now find out whether the standard rises or the pair of them simply stop speaking.

In brief

592 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

30 Nov 2037
From our football correspondent Crisis

Boardroom

Continental nights are coming to Valerenga

Qualification is secured, and next season the big floodlit nights are continental ones. For the players it is a stage; for the accounts it is a lifeline; for the supporters it is passports.

Match

The small margins put Valerenga out

Out, 0‑2 to Bodo/Glimt, and the long argument about which of the small moments decided it. The league is all there is now, and everybody knows it.

Boardroom

The scrutiny sharpens at Valerenga

Nobody upstairs has said anything, which is the loudest thing they could do. Results buy silence in this game; the account at Valerenga is running low.

Squad

A fracture rules Jonas Thorsby out for 23 days

Bones knit. That is the one merciful thing about this injury and the reason Valerenga will talk about it more openly than they would about a knee. He will be back, and roughly when they say.

Market

Tom Stuckey hands in a written request

“I have nothing bad to say about this place. I just need to be somewhere else.” It is in writing now, which changes what Valerenga can pretend not to have heard.

Market

Bjorn Odegaard has one foot out of the door

Terms are settled between the clubs and the rest is paperwork and a photograph. Around Valerenga they have already started talking about him in the past tense.

Squad

Filip Thorvaldsen is in the form of his life

A season average of 7.34 with 13 goals behind it. Opponents have started planning around him, which is the sincerest compliment football pays.

Squad

Tempers go at Valerenga

Max Merrick was at the centre of it, and by the time it was pulled apart there were three or four others involved. Training grounds are small places and long seasons make them smaller.

Squad

Filip Thorvaldsen falls out with a teammate over standards

The oldest argument in any dressing room and the only one that is genuinely about football: one man thinks another is not putting enough in. It is also the row a manager privately does not mind having happened.

In brief

591 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

23 Nov 2037
From our football correspondent Uneasy

Market

Max Merrick puts it in writing

“This is not anger. I have thought about it for months, and nothing that has happened lately changed my mind.” The request is on a desk at Valerenga, and it is not being withdrawn.

Squad

A fracture rules Jonas Thorsby out for 30 days

Bones knit. That is the one merciful thing about this injury and the reason Valerenga will talk about it more openly than they would about a knee. He will be back, and roughly when they say.

Squad

Max Merrick in a row with a teammate

It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Valerenga this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.

Squad

Words at Valerenga training over how hard people work

Somebody said out loud what several people had been thinking. Aaron Kiil Olsen is at the centre of it, and the squad will now find out whether the standard rises or the pair of them simply stop speaking.

Boardroom

No signings allowed at Valerenga

The manager may talk to whoever he likes and may pay nobody. A squad survives a window like this by borrowing, by promoting, and by hoping the injuries land somewhere else.

Squad

Valerenga lose Emanuele Torrasi

18 days, the medical staff say, and medical staff are optimists by profession. The team sheet will look wrong without him.

In brief

590 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

16 Nov 2037
From our football correspondent Uneasy

Squad

A fracture rules Jonas Thorsby out for 37 days

Bones knit. That is the one merciful thing about this injury and the reason Valerenga will talk about it more openly than they would about a knee. He will be back, and roughly when they say.

Market

Anwar Moutawafiq puts it in writing

“This is not anger. I have thought about it for months, and nothing that has happened lately changed my mind.” The request is on a desk at Valerenga, and it is not being withdrawn.

Squad

Tempers go at Valerenga

Max Merrick was at the centre of it, and by the time it was pulled apart there were three or four others involved. Training grounds are small places and long seasons make them smaller.

Squad

Aaron Kiil Olsen falls out with a teammate over standards

The oldest argument in any dressing room and the only one that is genuinely about football: one man thinks another is not putting enough in. It is also the row a manager privately does not mind having happened.

Squad

A smaller club would suit Max Merrick now

He has had enough of the noise. Whether Valerenga can be a quieter place for him, or whether the only cure is a move somewhere the phone-ins are gentler, is a question for the next few months.

Market

The Filip Thorvaldsen question follows Valerenga around

Every press conference now starts and ends the same way: with Filip Thorvaldsen’s future. The manager has run out of new ways to say nothing.

In brief

589 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

9 Nov 2037
From our football correspondent Uneasy

Market

Taha Usman has one foot out of the door

Terms are settled between the clubs and the rest is paperwork and a photograph. Around Valerenga they have already started talking about him in the past tense.

Market

Luka Dajčer asks to leave Valerenga

“I have given everything here and I need a new challenge.” The request is formal, and the relationship will never be quite the same again.

Squad

Brice Ambina signs on for more

“Some decisions take a long time. This one took ten minutes, and most of that was finding a pen.” Brice Ambina and Valerenga agree another 2 years.

Squad

Tempers go at Valerenga

Aaron Kiil Olsen was at the centre of it, and by the time it was pulled apart there were three or four others involved. Training grounds are small places and long seasons make them smaller.

Boardroom

Valerenga to lose Wahib Fadil for free

There is no worse way to lose a footballer. Wahib Fadil has pre-agreed a move away, which means every appearance between now and June is made by a man the club can no longer sell, and somebody upstairs will be asked why the contract was allowed to get here.

Squad

Words at Valerenga training over how hard people work

Somebody said out loud what several people had been thinking. Filip Thorvaldsen is at the centre of it, and the squad will now find out whether the standard rises or the pair of them simply stop speaking.

Squad

The manager makes an example of Vicente Santos

“If you cannot run for the shirt, somebody else will wear it.” No name was used and none was needed; every player in that room knew who it was for.

Boardroom

The Valerenga debt reaches $95.6M

Football clubs borrow; that is not the story. Borrowing more than the facility allows is, because from here it is the owner's money or somebody else's decision, and neither of those belongs to the board.

Market

Talks stall between Valerenga and Tommy Pilling

“We are a long way apart, and pretending otherwise helps nobody.” Neither side is close, and the calendar is not on the club's side.

In brief

  • Market The Bop Guèye talk will not go away
  • Boardroom The Valerenga production line keeps running
588 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

2 Nov 2037
From our football correspondent Upbeat

Match

Janus Seehusen wins the derby for Valerenga

Derby days make names, and Janus Seehusen made his against Lillestrom. 3‑1, bragging rights secured, and one half of town will be tired of hearing about him by Tuesday.

Boardroom

Interim Coach has until the next board meeting

What was said behind closed doors has now been said in front of a microphone. Everybody at Valerenga can do the arithmetic, including the man it is aimed at.

Boardroom

The silence upstairs is getting loud at Valerenga

Nobody on the board has said anything against the manager, which is the point — they have stopped saying anything for him either.

Squad

Janus Seehusen keeps the receipts

“I remember the meeting. I remember exactly what was promised in it.” Valerenga may remember it differently, which is precisely the problem.

Market

Edwuin Cetré hands in a written request

“I have nothing bad to say about this place. I just need to be somewhere else.” It is in writing now, which changes what Valerenga can pretend not to have heard.

Squad

Janus Seehusen has been here 11 seasons

51 appearances across 11 seasons in one shirt. Nobody builds a career like that on purpose any more; it happens to a certain kind of footballer at a certain kind of club.

Market

Only the photograph left for Bjorn Odegaard

Fee agreed, terms agreed, medical booked. Bjorn Odegaard will be somebody else’s player by the weekend, and around Valerenga the goodbyes have quietly begun.

Boardroom

The Valerenga board want somebody sold

The instruction has come from upstairs rather than from the dugout, which is the version of this conversation no manager enjoys. Somebody in that squad is now available whether the man who picks the team thinks so or not.

Player ratings

A derby belongs to Janus Seehusen

Beat anybody else and it is three points. Beat them and it is a story a city tells for a decade. Valerenga have their man.

In brief

587 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

26 Oct 2037
From our football correspondent Uneasy

Squad

A one-man rearguard from Max Merrick

There were 14 saves in it, and at least three that had no business being saves at all. The ten outfield players owe him a drink and they know it.

Market

Max Merrick asks to leave Valerenga

“I have given everything here and I need a new challenge.” The request is formal, and the relationship will never be quite the same again.

Player ratings

Nothing got past Aaron Kiil Olsen

Headers, blocks, tackles, interceptions — 30 of them, and not one goal behind him. The sort of performance that never makes a highlight reel and wins football matches.

Squad

Aaron Kiil Olsen falls out with a teammate over standards

The oldest argument in any dressing room and the only one that is genuinely about football: one man thinks another is not putting enough in. It is also the row a manager privately does not mind having happened.

Squad

Håkon Sjåtil in a row with a teammate

It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Valerenga this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.

Squad

The manager makes an example of Taha Usman

“If you cannot run for the shirt, somebody else will wear it.” No name was used and none was needed; every player in that room knew who it was for.

Boardroom

Valerenga cannot sign anybody

The embargo bars a fee being paid for a player, whatever the manager thinks the squad needs. Every rumour printed about this club between now and its lifting is a rumour about a deal that cannot happen.

Player ratings

Nothing got past Tommy Pilling

18 defensive actions and a clean sheet at the end of them. A defender's afternoon can only be told by what did not happen, which is why nobody makes a highlights package out of one and every manager in the division would take it.

Boardroom

Wages eat 102% of everything Valerenga earn

There is a figure at which a wage bill stops being ambitious and becomes the reason nothing else is possible, and this club has reached it. Nothing is left over for a transfer, a stand or a rainy afternoon.

In brief

586 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

19 Oct 2037
From our football correspondent Crisis

Match

Valerenga taken apart

0‑3 to Rosenborg, and it was every bit as bad as the number suggests. There are defeats you argue about and defeats you apologise for; this was the second kind.

Market

Anwar Moutawafiq hands in a written request

“I have nothing bad to say about this place. I just need to be somewhere else.” It is in writing now, which changes what Valerenga can pretend not to have heard.

Squad

Luka Dajčer: that is not what I was promised

“Things were said to me before I signed. I am not going to repeat them, but I remember all of them.” Valerenga have not answered, which is an answer of sorts.

Player ratings

Nobody could get near Bop Guèye

Successful dribbles: 26. Every time he got the ball somebody had to make a decision, and every time the decision was wrong.

Market

Valerenga may not be able to give Filip Thorvaldsen what he wants

It is the most legitimate ambition in the sport and the hardest for most clubs to satisfy. Filip Thorvaldsen wants continental football; whether Valerenga can provide it is a question about the next two seasons, not about him.

Squad

Tempers go at Valerenga

Aaron Kiil Olsen was at the centre of it, and by the time it was pulled apart there were three or four others involved. Training grounds are small places and long seasons make them smaller.

Squad

Words at Valerenga training over how hard people work

Somebody said out loud what several people had been thinking. Filip Thorvaldsen is at the centre of it, and the squad will now find out whether the standard rises or the pair of them simply stop speaking.

Squad

Tommy Pilling is carrying Valerenga

7 goals and a season average of 7.47. Form like that gets noticed well beyond this town.

Boardroom

Inquest at Valerenga

The manager kept them in and said what needed saying. A response is expected on Saturday, and if it does not come the questions move upstairs.

In brief

585 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

12 Oct 2037
From our football correspondent Uneasy

Squad

Vicente Santos says Valerenga went back on their word

“I was told what my role would be, and I signed on that basis. It has not happened.” A grievance with a date attached is the hardest kind to settle.

Market

Taha Usman is on his way

The clubs have agreed terms, and what remains is formality: a medical, a photograph, a signature. Nobody at Valerenga is pretending he will be back in the shirt.

Market

Luka Dajčer hands in a written request

“I have nothing bad to say about this place. I just need to be somewhere else.” It is in writing now, which changes what Valerenga can pretend not to have heard.

Match

Whatever happens, Valerenga do not lose

7 games unbeaten now. Some were earned and some were survived, but a habit is forming — and habits are the hardest thing in football to play against.

Squad

Filip Thorvaldsen is carrying Valerenga

13 goals and a season average of 7.36. Form like that gets noticed well beyond this town.

Squad

Tempers go at Valerenga

Max Merrick was at the centre of it, and by the time it was pulled apart there were three or four others involved. Training grounds are small places and long seasons make them smaller.

Squad

Aaron Kiil Olsen falls out with a teammate over standards

The oldest argument in any dressing room and the only one that is genuinely about football: one man thinks another is not putting enough in. It is also the row a manager privately does not mind having happened.

Player ratings

Filip Thorvaldsen in the eights

A performance of 8.62 does not come along often, and when it does the rest of the team becomes scenery. He was magnificent.

Boardroom

Valerenga are $95.9M in the red

The borrowing is past what the bank agreed, which is the line where a debt stops being how football is financed and starts being a problem. Every phone-in in this town will quote the figure for the next five years.

In brief

584 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

5 Oct 2037
From our football correspondent Upbeat

Squad

Max Merrick keeps Valerenga in it on his own

Some afternoons a goalkeeper is the team. 9 saves, several of them the sort nobody expects to see stopped, and a scoreline that flatters everybody in front of him.

Player ratings

Filip Thorvaldsen scores twice — 9.13

Two goals and a mark of 9.13 to go with them. Strikers are judged on afternoons like this one and remembered for far fewer of them than people imagine.

Boardroom

Pressure builds in the Valerenga boardroom

The directors have stopped offering the manager public warmth. In football that is usually the stage before the short statement.

Squad

14 seasons of Aaron Kiil Olsen

388 appearances across 14 seasons in these colours. Careers like that are not built any more, and Valerenga know what they have.

Player ratings

Age has not caught Aaron Kiil Olsen yet — 8.69

At 36 he is supposed to be managing his minutes. Instead he was marked 8.69 and looked, for ninety minutes, exactly like the player everybody remembers.

Market

Tom Stuckey puts it in writing

“This is not anger. I have thought about it for months, and nothing that has happened lately changed my mind.” The request is on a desk at Valerenga, and it is not being withdrawn.

Market

Only the photograph left for Bjorn Odegaard

Fee agreed, terms agreed, medical booked. Bjorn Odegaard will be somebody else’s player by the weekend, and around Valerenga the goodbyes have quietly begun.

Market

Filip Thorvaldsen raises the bar for Valerenga

“I want to be playing for trophies while my legs still let me.” Nothing in that sentence is a transfer request, and nobody at Valerenga heard it as anything else.

Boardroom

An order from above at Valerenga: somebody has to go

Balance sheets do not care about form or about who the manager was planning to build around. The board have decided a sale is required, and the only question left is which name ends up carrying it.

In brief

583 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

28 Sep 2037
From our football correspondent Upbeat

Market

Max Merrick asks to leave Valerenga

“I have given everything here and I need a new challenge.” The request is formal, and the relationship will never be quite the same again.

Squad

Fernando Rodrigues: that is not what I was promised

“Things were said to me before I signed. I am not going to repeat them, but I remember all of them.” Valerenga have not answered, which is an answer of sorts.

Player ratings

Age has not caught Brice Ambina yet — 7.98

At 35 he is supposed to be managing his minutes. Instead he was marked 7.98 and looked, for ninety minutes, exactly like the player everybody remembers.

Player ratings

A defender's afternoon for Tommy Pilling

Defensive actions: 25. He was first to everything and second to nothing, and the goalkeeper had an easy day because of it.

Squad

Tempers go at Valerenga

Max Merrick was at the centre of it, and by the time it was pulled apart there were three or four others involved. Training grounds are small places and long seasons make them smaller.

Squad

Filip Thorvaldsen falls out with a teammate over standards

The oldest argument in any dressing room and the only one that is genuinely about football: one man thinks another is not putting enough in. It is also the row a manager privately does not mind having happened.

Player ratings

Nobody could get near Bop Guèye

Successful dribbles: 19. Every time he got the ball somebody had to make a decision, and every time the decision was wrong.

Match

Valerenga see off Viking

Three points for Valerenga, 1‑0 the final word against Viking in a contest settled by the finer margins.

Squad

Filip Thorvaldsen is in the form of his life

A season average of 7.27 with 10 goals behind it. Opponents have started planning around him, which is the sincerest compliment football pays.

In brief

582 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

21 Sep 2037
From our football correspondent Uneasy

Squad

Max Merrick decides it from twelve yards

2 kept out in the shoot-out, and a stadium that will still be describing them in twenty years. A goalkeeper only needs one of these to be remembered forever.

Match

Valerenga through in the cup

A 1‑1 win over Viking, and the draw for the next round can be watched with some interest for once.

Player ratings

Both of them Aaron Kiil Olsen's — 8.57

2 goals, and the second was the one that settled it. Marked 8.57, and he could have had a third with better luck at the near post.

Market

Anwar Moutawafiq puts it in writing

“This is not anger. I have thought about it for months, and nothing that has happened lately changed my mind.” The request is on a desk at Valerenga, and it is not being withdrawn.

Player ratings

Age has not caught Tommy Pilling yet — 9.03

At 33 he is supposed to be managing his minutes. Instead he was marked 9.03 and looked, for ninety minutes, exactly like the player everybody remembers.

Squad

Max Merrick in a row with a teammate

It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Valerenga this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.

Match

6 goals as Valerenga and Sarpsborg 08 go for it

Defending was optional and nobody took up the option. 6 goals between Valerenga and Sarpsborg 08, and not one of the people who paid to be there will ask for the money back.

Squad

Words at Valerenga training over how hard people work

Somebody said out loud what several people had been thinking. Aaron Kiil Olsen is at the centre of it, and the squad will now find out whether the standard rises or the pair of them simply stop speaking.

Player ratings

Nobody could get near Bop Guèye

Successful dribbles: 21. Every time he got the ball somebody had to make a decision, and every time the decision was wrong.

In brief

581 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

14 Sep 2037
From our football correspondent Upbeat

Market

Taha Usman has one foot out of the door

Terms are settled between the clubs and the rest is paperwork and a photograph. Around Valerenga they have already started talking about him in the past tense.

Market

Luka Dajčer puts it in writing

“This is not anger. I have thought about it for months, and nothing that has happened lately changed my mind.” The request is on a desk at Valerenga, and it is not being withdrawn.

Player ratings

Tommy Pilling, 33, rolls back the years — 9.33

There is an age at which every good afternoon gets described as a throwback, which is unfair and also accurate. 9.33 at 33, and nobody on the pitch was better.

Squad

Bendik Berntsen says Valerenga went back on their word

“I was told what my role would be, and I signed on that basis. It has not happened.” A grievance with a date attached is the hardest kind to settle.

Squad

Tempers go at Valerenga

Max Merrick was at the centre of it, and by the time it was pulled apart there were three or four others involved. Training grounds are small places and long seasons make them smaller.

Squad

Aaron Kiil Olsen falls out with a teammate over standards

The oldest argument in any dressing room and the only one that is genuinely about football: one man thinks another is not putting enough in. It is also the row a manager privately does not mind having happened.

Squad

A move Yann Bonnet would have made for nothing

There is a version of every career where the player ends up somewhere he chose rather than somewhere that chose him. Yann Bonnet is living that version at Valerenga, and it tends to show in the first month.

Match

Valerenga find a way past Haugesund

Haugesund made Valerenga work for it, but the scoreboard read 3‑1 at the end and the table does not ask how.

Player ratings

Bop Guèye was on a different afternoon to everybody else

8.91. There are performances a supporter describes to somebody who was not there and cannot quite convey; this was one, and the number does not help either.

In brief

580 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

7 Sep 2037
From our football correspondent Uneasy

Player ratings

Tommy Pilling, 33, rolls back the years — 9.34

There is an age at which every good afternoon gets described as a throwback, which is unfair and also accurate. 9.34 at 33, and nobody on the pitch was better.

Boardroom

The scrutiny sharpens at Valerenga

Nobody upstairs has said anything, which is the loudest thing they could do. Results buy silence in this game; the account at Valerenga is running low.

Squad

Lamin Njie says Valerenga went back on their word

“I was told what my role would be, and I signed on that basis. It has not happened.” A grievance with a date attached is the hardest kind to settle.

Market

Morten Svensson puts it in writing

“This is not anger. I have thought about it for months, and nothing that has happened lately changed my mind.” The request is on a desk at Valerenga, and it is not being withdrawn.

Market

Bjorn Odegaard is on his way

The clubs have agreed terms, and what remains is formality: a medical, a photograph, a signature. Nobody at Valerenga is pretending he will be back in the shirt.

Boardroom

An order from above at Valerenga: somebody has to go

Balance sheets do not care about form or about who the manager was planning to build around. The board have decided a sale is required, and the only question left is which name ends up carrying it.

Squad

Aaron Kiil Olsen signs a new deal

“I never wanted to be anywhere else. There is unfinished business here.” Aaron Kiil Olsen commits to Valerenga for another 2 years.

Player ratings

A defender's afternoon for Aaron Kiil Olsen

Defensive actions: 24. He was first to everything and second to nothing, and the goalkeeper had an easy day because of it.

Squad

Words at Valerenga training over how hard people work

Somebody said out loud what several people had been thinking. Filip Thorvaldsen is at the centre of it, and the squad will now find out whether the standard rises or the pair of them simply stop speaking.

In brief

579 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

31 Aug 2037
From our football correspondent Crisis

Squad

Max Merrick keeps Valerenga in it on his own

Some afternoons a goalkeeper is the team. 10 saves, several of them the sort nobody expects to see stopped, and a scoreline that flatters everybody in front of him.

Match

Valerenga throw away a 2-goal lead

2 in front and in complete control, and it finished with Odd the happier side. There is no version of this afternoon that Valerenga will enjoy reviewing.

Market

Max Merrick hands in a written request

“I have nothing bad to say about this place. I just need to be somewhere else.” It is in writing now, which changes what Valerenga can pretend not to have heard.

Squad

Josef Baccay says Valerenga went back on their word

“I was told what my role would be, and I signed on that basis. It has not happened.” A grievance with a date attached is the hardest kind to settle.

Market

Morten Svensson is on his way

The clubs have agreed terms, and what remains is formality: a medical, a photograph, a signature. Nobody at Valerenga is pretending he will be back in the shirt.

Market

Valerenga may not be able to give Maximiliano Porcel what he wants

It is the most legitimate ambition in the sport and the hardest for most clubs to satisfy. Maximiliano Porcel wants continental football; whether Valerenga can provide it is a question about the next two seasons, not about him.

Squad

Aaron Kiil Olsen falls out with a teammate over standards

The oldest argument in any dressing room and the only one that is genuinely about football: one man thinks another is not putting enough in. It is also the row a manager privately does not mind having happened.

Match

Valerenga come up short against Odd

Odd left with the points after a 2‑3 defeat that will take some explaining on the terraces.

Squad

Luka Dajčer in a row with a teammate

It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Valerenga this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.

In brief

578 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

24 Aug 2037
From our football correspondent Uneasy

Market

Ilkka Lam puts it in writing

“This is not anger. I have thought about it for months, and nothing that has happened lately changed my mind.” The request is on a desk at Valerenga, and it is not being withdrawn.

Match

8 unbeaten for Valerenga

Hard to beat is not the same as winning, but 8 matches without defeat is a foundation Valerenga did not have in the autumn.

Market

The Tromso deal is off

Everything was agreed until it was not, and Jens Meling reports back to Valerenga with a summer to forget. Neither club is saying who walked away from the table.

Squad

Max Merrick in a row with a teammate

It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Valerenga this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.

Squad

Words at Valerenga training over how hard people work

Somebody said out loud what several people had been thinking. Aaron Kiil Olsen is at the centre of it, and the squad will now find out whether the standard rises or the pair of them simply stop speaking.

Squad

A move Stian Lien would have made for nothing

There is a version of every career where the player ends up somewhere he chose rather than somewhere that chose him. Stian Lien is living that version at Valerenga, and it tends to show in the first month.

Player ratings

Nobody could get near Bop Guèye

Successful dribbles: 20. Every time he got the ball somebody had to make a decision, and every time the decision was wrong.

Player ratings

One of those days for Filip Thorvaldsen

There is a version of this player everybody suspected was in there, and on this evidence it is. 8.83, and no argument anywhere in the ground.

Squad

Filip Thorvaldsen is carrying Valerenga

10 goals and a season average of 7.28. Form like that gets noticed well beyond this town.

In brief

577 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

17 Aug 2037
From our football correspondent Uneasy

Match

IK Start punish Valerenga for switching off

2 goals to the good, and then a slow surrender of everything that had been earned. Filip Thorvaldsen will not be the one blamed for it, but nobody at Valerenga escapes the conversation that follows a collapse like this.

Market

Oscar Hedvall’s move to Sarpsborg 08 falls through

The deal that would have taken Oscar Hedvall to Sarpsborg 08 has collapsed at the last stage, and he reports back to Valerenga with a summer to forget and a season still to play. Nobody is saying which side walked away.

Market

Only the photograph left for Taha Usman

Fee agreed, terms agreed, medical booked. Taha Usman will be somebody else’s player by the weekend, and around Valerenga the goodbyes have quietly begun.

Squad

3 goals for Filip Thorvaldsen

The match ball belongs to Filip Thorvaldsen, whose 3 goals turned a difficult afternoon into a procession.

Market

Bjorn Odegaard puts it in writing

“This is not anger. I have thought about it for months, and nothing that has happened lately changed my mind.” The request is on a desk at Valerenga, and it is not being withdrawn.

Market

Filip Thorvaldsen wants European nights

The general version of this complaint is that a player wants more. The specific version names the thing: he wants to walk out under floodlights against clubs from other countries, and he has stopped pretending otherwise.

Squad

Aaron Kiil Olsen in a row with a teammate

It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Valerenga this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.

Match

Still nobody has beaten Valerenga

The unbeaten run reaches 7. Some of them were wins and some were escapes, but a side that refuses to lose is a side other dressing rooms talk about.

Match

Valerenga make home a hard place to visit

10 without defeat on their own grass. The pitch has not changed; the crowd has — louder earlier, and quicker to sense when the opposition would rather be somewhere else.

In brief

576 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

10 Aug 2037
From our football correspondent Upbeat

Market

Luka Dajčer hands in a written request

“I have nothing bad to say about this place. I just need to be somewhere else.” It is in writing now, which changes what Valerenga can pretend not to have heard.

Squad

Max Merrick in a row with a teammate

It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Valerenga this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.

Squad

Words at Valerenga training over how hard people work

Somebody said out loud what several people had been thinking. Aaron Kiil Olsen is at the centre of it, and the squad will now find out whether the standard rises or the pair of them simply stop speaking.

Market

The Taha Usman conversation is coming

Everyone has stopped pretending: Haugesund will make the call about Taha Usman this week. Valerenga have a number in mind, and the number is not shy.

Match

Whatever happens, Valerenga do not lose

6 games unbeaten now. Some were earned and some were survived, but a habit is forming — and habits are the hardest thing in football to play against.

Player ratings

A masterclass from Maximiliano Porcel

Marked 9.51 — the sort of number a correspondent writes down twice to be sure. Everything he tried came off, and what he did not try was not worth trying.

Market

Aalesund join the queue for Bjorn Odegaard

Add another name to the list: Aalesund have asked the question everybody in the game has been asking about Bjorn Odegaard. The answer from Valerenga has not changed — yet.

Squad

The manager makes an example of Taha Usman

“If you cannot run for the shirt, somebody else will wear it.” No name was used and none was needed; every player in that room knew who it was for.

Match

Valerenga get the job done against Tromso

A 1‑0 win over Tromso, earned rather than given, and the sort of afternoon that sends everyone home talking about next week instead of this one.

In brief

575 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

3 Aug 2037
From our football correspondent Uneasy

Market

Valerenga turn down Haugesund for Taha Usman

The offer was not close and it was refused without much discussion. Whether the second one is refused as quickly is another matter.

Squad

Janus Seehusen says Valerenga went back on their word

“I was told what my role would be, and I signed on that basis. It has not happened.” A grievance with a date attached is the hardest kind to settle.

Market

Morten Svensson asks to leave Valerenga

“I have given everything here and I need a new challenge.” The request is formal, and the relationship will never be quite the same again.

Boardroom

The Valerenga board want somebody sold

The instruction has come from upstairs rather than from the dugout, which is the version of this conversation no manager enjoys. Somebody in that squad is now available whether the man who picks the team thinks so or not.

Market

Morten Svensson is on his way

The clubs have agreed terms, and what remains is formality: a medical, a photograph, a signature. Nobody at Valerenga is pretending he will be back in the shirt.

Squad

Tempers go at Valerenga

Max Merrick was at the centre of it, and by the time it was pulled apart there were three or four others involved. Training grounds are small places and long seasons make them smaller.

Squad

Aaron Kiil Olsen falls out with a teammate over standards

The oldest argument in any dressing room and the only one that is genuinely about football: one man thinks another is not putting enough in. It is also the row a manager privately does not mind having happened.

Market

Fernando Rodrigues raises the bar for Valerenga

“I want to be playing for trophies while my legs still let me.” Nothing in that sentence is a transfer request, and nobody at Valerenga heard it as anything else.

Boardroom

The owner puts $572.0K into Valerenga

This is money that keeps the lights on rather than money that buys a centre-half, and the difference is the whole story. A club funded by its owner rather than by its football has exactly one conversation left ahead of it.

In brief

574 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

27 Jul 2037
From our football correspondent Uneasy

Market

Valerenga say no — this time

The offer from IK Start for Oscar Hedvall was heard out and sent back the same day. First bids are rarely meant to succeed; they are meant to find out how loudly the door closes.

Market

Tom Stuckey puts it in writing

“This is not anger. I have thought about it for months, and nothing that has happened lately changed my mind.” The request is on a desk at Valerenga, and it is not being withdrawn.

Squad

Tempers go at Valerenga

Aaron Kiil Olsen was at the centre of it, and by the time it was pulled apart there were three or four others involved. Training grounds are small places and long seasons make them smaller.

Squad

Words at Valerenga training over how hard people work

Somebody said out loud what several people had been thinking. Filip Thorvaldsen is at the centre of it, and the squad will now find out whether the standard rises or the pair of them simply stop speaking.

Match

The run at home goes on for Valerenga

9 matches unbeaten here. Every visiting manager is asked about it in the week before, which is precisely why it keeps going.

Player ratings

One of those days for Tommy Pilling

There is a version of this player everybody suspected was in there, and on this evidence it is. 8.91, and no argument anywhere in the ground.

Market

Sarpsborg 08 are about to pick up the phone

A conversation is coming this week. Valerenga will put a number on him, and from there it stops being football and becomes arithmetic.

Player ratings

One of those days for Filip Thorvaldsen

There is a version of this player everybody suspected was in there, and on this evidence it is. 8.07, and no argument anywhere in the ground.

Player ratings

Nobody could get near Bop Guèye

Successful dribbles: 17. Every time he got the ball somebody had to make a decision, and every time the decision was wrong.

In brief

573 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

20 Jul 2037
From our football correspondent Upbeat

Match

João Felisberto sends Valerenga through

Cup ties wait for somebody to seize them, and João Felisberto obliged against IK Start. 1‑0 on the night, and the name in the next round’s hat is Valerenga.

Match

Valerenga let it slip despite Filip Thorvaldsen

Filip Thorvaldsen had done his part in building a 3-goal cushion. What happened after that was collective, and Lillestrom were allowed back into a match that had been finished with.

Player ratings

A brace, and Filip Thorvaldsen takes the afternoon — 8.76

There is a particular kind of quiet from an away end watching one man score twice. Filip Thorvaldsen provided it, and the 8.76 beside his name is if anything generous to everybody else.

Player ratings

Aaron Kiil Olsen, 36, rolls back the years — 8.59

There is an age at which every good afternoon gets described as a throwback, which is unfair and also accurate. 8.59 at 36, and nobody on the pitch was better.

Squad

A one-man rearguard from Max Merrick

There were 6 saves in it, and at least three that had no business being saves at all. The ten outfield players owe him a drink and they know it.

Market

Bjorn Odegaard hands in a written request

“I have nothing bad to say about this place. I just need to be somewhere else.” It is in writing now, which changes what Valerenga can pretend not to have heard.

Squad

Thiago Cáceres keeps the receipts

“I remember the meeting. I remember exactly what was promised in it.” Valerenga may remember it differently, which is precisely the problem.

Squad

Aaron Kiil Olsen falls out with a teammate over standards

The oldest argument in any dressing room and the only one that is genuinely about football: one man thinks another is not putting enough in. It is also the row a manager privately does not mind having happened.

Player ratings

Thiago Cáceres shuts the door

Defensive actions: 22, and a clean sheet at the end of it. A centre-half's best afternoons look like nothing happening, which is precisely the point.

In brief

572 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

13 Jul 2037
From our football correspondent Upbeat

Market

Rody de Boer asks to leave Valerenga

“I have given everything here and I need a new challenge.” The request is formal, and the relationship will never be quite the same again.

Squad

A one-man rearguard from Max Merrick

There were 7 saves in it, and at least three that had no business being saves at all. The ten outfield players owe him a drink and they know it.

Player ratings

Nothing got past Tommy Pilling

28 defensive actions and a clean sheet at the end of them. A defender's afternoon can only be told by what did not happen, which is why nobody makes a highlights package out of one and every manager in the division would take it.

Player ratings

Aaron Kiil Olsen, 36, rolls back the years — 7.94

There is an age at which every good afternoon gets described as a throwback, which is unfair and also accurate. 7.94 at 36, and nobody on the pitch was better.

Squad

Chinedu Ekene keeps the receipts

“I remember the meeting. I remember exactly what was promised in it.” Valerenga may remember it differently, which is precisely the problem.

Market

Only the photograph left for Bjorn Odegaard

Fee agreed, terms agreed, medical booked. Bjorn Odegaard will be somebody else’s player by the weekend, and around Valerenga the goodbyes have quietly begun.

Squad

Words at Valerenga training over how hard people work

Somebody said out loud what several people had been thinking. Aaron Kiil Olsen is at the centre of it, and the squad will now find out whether the standard rises or the pair of them simply stop speaking.

Player ratings

Brice Ambina was immovable

21 times he got in the way of something. Centre-halves get written about when they make mistakes and ignored when they do not, so an afternoon like this needs saying out loud: he is the reason the scoreline reads as it does.

Squad

Tempers go at Valerenga

Rody de Boer was at the centre of it, and by the time it was pulled apart there were three or four others involved. Training grounds are small places and long seasons make them smaller.

In brief

571 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

6 Jul 2037
From our football correspondent Uneasy

Squad

A fracture rules Luka Dajčer out for 17 days

Bones knit. That is the one merciful thing about this injury and the reason Valerenga will talk about it more openly than they would about a knee. He will be back, and roughly when they say.

Market

Rody de Boer is on his way

The clubs have agreed terms, and what remains is formality: a medical, a photograph, a signature. Nobody at Valerenga is pretending he will be back in the shirt.

Squad

João Felisberto: that is not what I was promised

“Things were said to me before I signed. I am not going to repeat them, but I remember all of them.” Valerenga have not answered, which is an answer of sorts.

Market

Ilkka Lam asks to leave Valerenga

“I have given everything here and I need a new challenge.” The request is formal, and the relationship will never be quite the same again.

Boardroom

The Valerenga board want somebody sold

The instruction has come from upstairs rather than from the dugout, which is the version of this conversation no manager enjoys. Somebody in that squad is now available whether the man who picks the team thinks so or not.

Market

Filip Thorvaldsen wants more than Valerenga are offering

“I have ambitions, and I would like the club to share them.” Nobody has asked to leave and nobody has been shown the door — but a player chooses that sentence carefully, and a boardroom hears it exactly as it was meant.

Squad

Aaron Kiil Olsen in a row with a teammate

It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Valerenga this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.

Squad

Filip Thorvaldsen falls out with a teammate over standards

The oldest argument in any dressing room and the only one that is genuinely about football: one man thinks another is not putting enough in. It is also the row a manager privately does not mind having happened.

Player ratings

Bop Guèye runs at them all day

Successful dribbles: 21. There is a particular sort of despair on a full-back's face by the seventieth minute, and it was on display.

In brief

570 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

29 Jun 2037
From our football correspondent Upbeat

Squad

A fracture rules Luka Dajčer out for 24 days

Bones knit. That is the one merciful thing about this injury and the reason Valerenga will talk about it more openly than they would about a knee. He will be back, and roughly when they say.

Player ratings

Aaron Kiil Olsen, 36, rolls back the years — 9.14

There is an age at which every good afternoon gets described as a throwback, which is unfair and also accurate. 9.14 at 36, and nobody on the pitch was better.

Match

Whatever happens, Valerenga do not lose

10 games unbeaten now. Some were earned and some were survived, but a habit is forming — and habits are the hardest thing in football to play against.

Market

Thiago Cáceres puts it in writing

“This is not anger. I have thought about it for months, and nothing that has happened lately changed my mind.” The request is on a desk at Valerenga, and it is not being withdrawn.

Market

Only the photograph left for Morten Svensson

Fee agreed, terms agreed, medical booked. Morten Svensson will be somebody else’s player by the weekend, and around Valerenga the goodbyes have quietly begun.

Squad

Tempers go at Valerenga

Rody de Boer was at the centre of it, and by the time it was pulled apart there were three or four others involved. Training grounds are small places and long seasons make them smaller.

Market

Maximiliano Porcel wants European nights

The general version of this complaint is that a player wants more. The specific version names the thing: he wants to walk out under floodlights against clubs from other countries, and he has stopped pretending otherwise.

Squad

Words at Valerenga training over how hard people work

Somebody said out loud what several people had been thinking. Aaron Kiil Olsen is at the centre of it, and the squad will now find out whether the standard rises or the pair of them simply stop speaking.

Match

Filip Thorvaldsen sends Valerenga past Stabaek

It finished 2‑1, and it was Filip Thorvaldsen’s afternoon: on the scoresheet when it mattered, and the reason the points belong to Valerenga.

In brief

569 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

22 Jun 2037
From our football correspondent Steady

Squad

A one-man rearguard from Max Merrick

There were 11 saves in it, and at least three that had no business being saves at all. The ten outfield players owe him a drink and they know it.

Squad

A fracture rules Luka Dajčer out for 31 days

Bones knit. That is the one merciful thing about this injury and the reason Valerenga will talk about it more openly than they would about a knee. He will be back, and roughly when they say.

Boardroom

Valerenga counting the cost

The accounts make uncomfortable reading. Wages first and ambition second is the order of business at Valerenga now.

Squad

Josef Baccay keeps the receipts

“I remember the meeting. I remember exactly what was promised in it.” Valerenga may remember it differently, which is precisely the problem.

Match

Whatever happens, Valerenga do not lose

9 games unbeaten now. Some were earned and some were survived, but a habit is forming — and habits are the hardest thing in football to play against.

Market

Tom Stuckey hands in a written request

“I have nothing bad to say about this place. I just need to be somewhere else.” It is in writing now, which changes what Valerenga can pretend not to have heard.

Squad

Rody de Boer in a row with a teammate

It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Valerenga this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.

Player ratings

Taha Usman in the eights

A performance of 8.08 does not come along often, and when it does the rest of the team becomes scenery. He was magnificent.

Boardroom

Wages eat 110% of everything Valerenga earn

There is a figure at which a wage bill stops being ambitious and becomes the reason nothing else is possible, and this club has reached it. Nothing is left over for a transfer, a stand or a rainy afternoon.

In brief

568 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

15 Jun 2037
From our football correspondent Upbeat

Squad

A fracture rules Luka Dajčer out for 38 days

Bones knit. That is the one merciful thing about this injury and the reason Valerenga will talk about it more openly than they would about a knee. He will be back, and roughly when they say.

Market

Rody de Boer puts it in writing

“This is not anger. I have thought about it for months, and nothing that has happened lately changed my mind.” The request is on a desk at Valerenga, and it is not being withdrawn.

Market

Bjorn Odegaard is on his way

The clubs have agreed terms, and what remains is formality: a medical, a photograph, a signature. Nobody at Valerenga is pretending he will be back in the shirt.

Market

Valerenga may not be able to give Filip Thorvaldsen what he wants

It is the most legitimate ambition in the sport and the hardest for most clubs to satisfy. Filip Thorvaldsen wants continental football; whether Valerenga can provide it is a question about the next two seasons, not about him.

Match

8 unbeaten for Valerenga

Hard to beat is not the same as winning, but 8 matches without defeat is a foundation Valerenga did not have in the autumn.

Squad

Tempers go at Valerenga

Aaron Kiil Olsen was at the centre of it, and by the time it was pulled apart there were three or four others involved. Training grounds are small places and long seasons make them smaller.

Squad

Rody de Boer wants to go home

“I have given this everything, but my family is not here and neither am I, not really.” A footballer can be coached out of bad form. Nobody has ever been coached out of this, and Valerenga know it.

Squad

A last season at home is what Rody de Boer is after

It is sentimental, it is completely genuine, and it is the beginning of a departure nobody has announced. The club can be gracious about it or it can pretend not to have heard.

Match

Valerenga find a way past Viking

Viking made Valerenga work for it, but the scoreboard read 2‑1 at the end and the table does not ask how.

In brief

  • Player ratings Bop Guèye was on a different afternoon to everybody else
  • Player ratings Taha Usman was on a different afternoon to everybody else
  • Boardroom The Valerenga debt reaches $91.0M
567 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

8 Jun 2037
From our football correspondent Upbeat

Squad

A fracture rules Luka Dajčer out for 45 days

Bones knit. That is the one merciful thing about this injury and the reason Valerenga will talk about it more openly than they would about a knee. He will be back, and roughly when they say.

Market

Only the photograph left for Rody de Boer

Fee agreed, terms agreed, medical booked. Rody de Boer will be somebody else’s player by the weekend, and around Valerenga the goodbyes have quietly begun.

Player ratings

Age has not caught Aaron Kiil Olsen yet — 7.90

At 36 he is supposed to be managing his minutes. Instead he was marked 7.90 and looked, for ninety minutes, exactly like the player everybody remembers.

Market

Ilkka Lam hands in a written request

“I have nothing bad to say about this place. I just need to be somewhere else.” It is in writing now, which changes what Valerenga can pretend not to have heard.

Boardroom

The Valerenga board want somebody sold

The instruction has come from upstairs rather than from the dugout, which is the version of this conversation no manager enjoys. Somebody in that squad is now available whether the man who picks the team thinks so or not.

Player ratings

Bop Guèye runs at them all day

Successful dribbles: 23. There is a particular sort of despair on a full-back's face by the seventieth minute, and it was on display.

Match

7 unbeaten for Valerenga

Hard to beat is not the same as winning, but 7 matches without defeat is a foundation Valerenga did not have in the autumn.

Market

Lech are about to pick up the phone

A conversation is coming this week. Valerenga will put a number on him, and from there it stops being football and becomes arithmetic.

Squad

Rody de Boer in a row with a teammate

It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Valerenga this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.

In brief

566 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

1 Jun 2037
From our football correspondent Upbeat

Squad

A fracture rules Luka Dajčer out for 52 days

Bones knit. That is the one merciful thing about this injury and the reason Valerenga will talk about it more openly than they would about a knee. He will be back, and roughly when they say.

Market

Thiago Cáceres asks to leave Valerenga

“I have given everything here and I need a new challenge.” The request is formal, and the relationship will never be quite the same again.

Market

Morten Svensson is on his way

The clubs have agreed terms, and what remains is formality: a medical, a photograph, a signature. Nobody at Valerenga is pretending he will be back in the shirt.

Squad

Tempers go at Valerenga

Rody de Boer was at the centre of it, and by the time it was pulled apart there were three or four others involved. Training grounds are small places and long seasons make them smaller.

Squad

Words at Valerenga training over how hard people work

Somebody said out loud what several people had been thinking. Aaron Kiil Olsen is at the centre of it, and the squad will now find out whether the standard rises or the pair of them simply stop speaking.

Match

Still nobody has beaten Valerenga

The unbeaten run reaches 6. Some of them were wins and some were escapes, but a side that refuses to lose is a side other dressing rooms talk about.

Squad

No hiding place for Taha Usman

“I pick players who do the work. All of it.” No name was spoken; every camera still turned to Taha Usman, and the manager let it.

Player ratings

Filip Thorvaldsen was on a different afternoon to everybody else

8.69. There are performances a supporter describes to somebody who was not there and cannot quite convey; this was one, and the number does not help either.

Match

Valerenga share the spoils with Haugesund

A 1‑1 draw with Haugesund leaves the dressing room somewhere between relief and regret.

In brief

565 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

25 May 2037
From our football correspondent Upbeat

Squad

A fracture rules Luka Dajčer out for 59 days

Bones knit. That is the one merciful thing about this injury and the reason Valerenga will talk about it more openly than they would about a knee. He will be back, and roughly when they say.

Player ratings

Tommy Pilling scores twice — 9.36

Two goals and a mark of 9.36 to go with them. Strikers are judged on afternoons like this one and remembered for far fewer of them than people imagine.

Boardroom

Valerenga counting the cost

The accounts make uncomfortable reading. Wages first and ambition second is the order of business at Valerenga now.

Market

Bjorn Odegaard puts it in writing

“This is not anger. I have thought about it for months, and nothing that has happened lately changed my mind.” The request is on a desk at Valerenga, and it is not being withdrawn.

Squad

Aaron Kiil Olsen in a row with a teammate

It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Valerenga this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.

Squad

Filip Thorvaldsen falls out with a teammate over standards

The oldest argument in any dressing room and the only one that is genuinely about football: one man thinks another is not putting enough in. It is also the row a manager privately does not mind having happened.

Player ratings

Bop Guèye runs at them all day

Successful dribbles: 20. There is a particular sort of despair on a full-back's face by the seventieth minute, and it was on display.

Squad

Szymon Roguski gets it from the manager

“Nobody here is above being told.” It was not said with a name attached, but the dressing room can count, and so can everybody who was listening.

Boardroom

Wages eat 94% of everything Valerenga earn

There is a figure at which a wage bill stops being ambitious and becomes the reason nothing else is possible, and this club has reached it. Nothing is left over for a transfer, a stand or a rainy afternoon.

In brief

564 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

18 May 2037
From our football correspondent Upbeat

Squad

A fracture rules Luka Dajčer out for 66 days

Bones knit. That is the one merciful thing about this injury and the reason Valerenga will talk about it more openly than they would about a knee. He will be back, and roughly when they say.

Market

Rody de Boer asks to leave Valerenga

“I have given everything here and I need a new challenge.” The request is formal, and the relationship will never be quite the same again.

Player ratings

Both of them Fernando Rodrigues's — 8.59

2 goals, and the second was the one that settled it. Marked 8.59, and he could have had a third with better luck at the near post.

Match

Valerenga make it 4 in a row

Momentum is a hard thing to buy and an easy thing to lose, and right now Valerenga have 4 straight wins of it.

Squad

Jakub Nowiński: that is not what I was promised

“Things were said to me before I signed. I am not going to repeat them, but I remember all of them.” Valerenga have not answered, which is an answer of sorts.

Market

Bjorn Odegaard is on his way

The clubs have agreed terms, and what remains is formality: a medical, a photograph, a signature. Nobody at Valerenga is pretending he will be back in the shirt.

Squad

Tempers go at Valerenga

Rody de Boer was at the centre of it, and by the time it was pulled apart there were three or four others involved. Training grounds are small places and long seasons make them smaller.

Squad

Words at Valerenga training over how hard people work

Somebody said out loud what several people had been thinking. Aaron Kiil Olsen is at the centre of it, and the squad will now find out whether the standard rises or the pair of them simply stop speaking.

Match

Fernando Rodrigues sends Valerenga past Odd

It finished 3‑1, and it was Fernando Rodrigues’s afternoon: on the scoresheet when it mattered, and the reason the points belong to Valerenga.

In brief

563 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

11 May 2037
From our football correspondent Upbeat

Squad

A fracture rules Luka Dajčer out for 73 days

Bones knit. That is the one merciful thing about this injury and the reason Valerenga will talk about it more openly than they would about a knee. He will be back, and roughly when they say.

Match

João Felisberto sends Valerenga through

Cup ties wait for somebody to seize them, and João Felisberto obliged against Aalesund. 2‑1 on the night, and the name in the next round’s hat is Valerenga.

Match

Valerenga run riot against Sandefjord

5‑1, and the margin flattered nobody — it could have carried another goal or two without complaint. Afternoons like this are why people keep coming.

Player ratings

Bjorn Odegaard runs at them all day

Successful dribbles: 33. There is a particular sort of despair on a full-back's face by the seventieth minute, and it was on display.

Market

Rody de Boer is on his way

The clubs have agreed terms, and what remains is formality: a medical, a photograph, a signature. Nobody at Valerenga is pretending he will be back in the shirt.

Squad

Fernando Rodrigues keeps the receipts

“I remember the meeting. I remember exactly what was promised in it.” Valerenga may remember it differently, which is precisely the problem.

Market

Tom Stuckey puts it in writing

“This is not anger. I have thought about it for months, and nothing that has happened lately changed my mind.” The request is on a desk at Valerenga, and it is not being withdrawn.

Match

Valerenga cannot stop winning

3 wins on the spin now, and the question has changed from whether the run ends to who ends it. Confidence like this cannot be bought; it has to be earned exactly this way.

Squad

Rody de Boer in a row with a teammate

It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Valerenga this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.

In brief

562 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

4 May 2037
From our football correspondent Uneasy

Squad

A fracture rules Luka Dajčer out for 80 days

Bones knit. That is the one merciful thing about this injury and the reason Valerenga will talk about it more openly than they would about a knee. He will be back, and roughly when they say.

Player ratings

Age has not caught Aaron Kiil Olsen yet — 9.14

At 35 he is supposed to be managing his minutes. Instead he was marked 9.14 and looked, for ninety minutes, exactly like the player everybody remembers.

Squad

11 seasons of Janus Seehusen

45 appearances across 11 seasons in these colours. Careers like that are not built any more, and Valerenga know what they have.

Market

Ilkka Lam asks to leave Valerenga

“I have given everything here and I need a new challenge.” The request is formal, and the relationship will never be quite the same again.

Market

Only the photograph left for Morten Svensson

Fee agreed, terms agreed, medical booked. Morten Svensson will be somebody else’s player by the weekend, and around Valerenga the goodbyes have quietly begun.

Squad

Tempers go at Valerenga

Rody de Boer was at the centre of it, and by the time it was pulled apart there were three or four others involved. Training grounds are small places and long seasons make them smaller.

Squad

Words at Valerenga training over how hard people work

Somebody said out loud what several people had been thinking. Filip Thorvaldsen is at the centre of it, and the squad will now find out whether the standard rises or the pair of them simply stop speaking.

Market

Fernando Rodrigues wants to know where this is going

“I want to win things, and I would like to do it here.” Nothing has been demanded and nothing has been threatened — but a boardroom at Valerenga hears a sentence like that exactly as it was built.

Player ratings

Tommy Pilling was immovable

20 times he got in the way of something. Centre-halves get written about when they make mistakes and ignored when they do not, so an afternoon like this needs saying out loud: he is the reason the scoreline reads as it does.

In brief

561 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

27 Apr 2037
From our football correspondent Crisis

Squad

A fracture rules Luka Dajčer out for 87 days

Bones knit. That is the one merciful thing about this injury and the reason Valerenga will talk about it more openly than they would about a knee. He will be back, and roughly when they say.

Match

The wait goes on for Valerenga

7 without a win now, and the ground has developed the special quiet of a crowd that expects the worst. One scrappy 1-0 would cure most of it; that is the maddening part.

Boardroom

Valerenga counting the cost

The accounts make uncomfortable reading. Wages first and ambition second is the order of business at Valerenga now.

Squad

Max Merrick keeps Valerenga in it on his own

Some afternoons a goalkeeper is the team. 6 saves, several of them the sort nobody expects to see stopped, and a scoreline that flatters everybody in front of him.

Squad

Rody de Boer in a row with a teammate

It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Valerenga this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.

Market

Valerenga may not be able to give Maximiliano Porcel what he wants

It is the most legitimate ambition in the sport and the hardest for most clubs to satisfy. Maximiliano Porcel wants continental football; whether Valerenga can provide it is a question about the next two seasons, not about him.

Squad

Aaron Kiil Olsen falls out with a teammate over standards

The oldest argument in any dressing room and the only one that is genuinely about football: one man thinks another is not putting enough in. It is also the row a manager privately does not mind having happened.

Match

Valerenga come up short against Tromso

Tromso left with the points after a 0‑1 defeat that will take some explaining on the terraces.

Player ratings

Nobody could get near Bop Guèye

Successful dribbles: 14. Every time he got the ball somebody had to make a decision, and every time the decision was wrong.

In brief

560 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

20 Apr 2037
From our football correspondent Uneasy

Squad

A fracture rules Luka Dajčer out for 94 days

Bones knit. That is the one merciful thing about this injury and the reason Valerenga will talk about it more openly than they would about a knee. He will be back, and roughly when they say.

Market

Rody de Boer asks to leave Valerenga

“I have given everything here and I need a new challenge.” The request is formal, and the relationship will never be quite the same again.

Match

The wait goes on for Valerenga

6 without a win now, and the ground has developed the special quiet of a crowd that expects the worst. One scrappy 1-0 would cure most of it; that is the maddening part.

Market

Valerenga may not be able to give Filip Thorvaldsen what he wants

It is the most legitimate ambition in the sport and the hardest for most clubs to satisfy. Filip Thorvaldsen wants continental football; whether Valerenga can provide it is a question about the next two seasons, not about him.

Market

Only the photograph left for Bjorn Odegaard

Fee agreed, terms agreed, medical booked. Bjorn Odegaard will be somebody else’s player by the weekend, and around Valerenga the goodbyes have quietly begun.

Squad

Rody de Boer wants to go home

“I have given this everything, but my family is not here and neither am I, not really.” A footballer can be coached out of bad form. Nobody has ever been coached out of this, and Valerenga know it.

Squad

Tempers go at Valerenga

Rody de Boer was at the centre of it, and by the time it was pulled apart there were three or four others involved. Training grounds are small places and long seasons make them smaller.

Squad

Words at Valerenga training over how hard people work

Somebody said out loud what several people had been thinking. Aaron Kiil Olsen is at the centre of it, and the squad will now find out whether the standard rises or the pair of them simply stop speaking.

Match

Honours even between Valerenga and Aalesund

1‑1, and both dressing rooms will call it two points lost. A draw that asked plenty of questions and answered none of them.

In brief

559 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

13 Apr 2037
From our football correspondent Crisis

Squad

A fracture rules Luka Dajčer out for 101 days

Bones knit. That is the one merciful thing about this injury and the reason Valerenga will talk about it more openly than they would about a knee. He will be back, and roughly when they say.

Squad

A knee injury of the worst kind for Nikola Udovicic

16 days on the estimate, and a long, private, unglamorous year of a rehabilitation nobody watches. Valerenga lose a footballer; he loses considerably more than a season.

Squad

Max Merrick keeps Valerenga in it on his own

Some afternoons a goalkeeper is the team. 10 saves, several of them the sort nobody expects to see stopped, and a scoreline that flatters everybody in front of him.

Market

Only the photograph left for Rody de Boer

Fee agreed, terms agreed, medical booked. Rody de Boer will be somebody else’s player by the weekend, and around Valerenga the goodbyes have quietly begun.

Market

Tom Stuckey hands in a written request

“I have nothing bad to say about this place. I just need to be somewhere else.” It is in writing now, which changes what Valerenga can pretend not to have heard.

Match

The wait goes on for Valerenga

5 without a win now, and the ground has developed the special quiet of a crowd that expects the worst. One scrappy 1-0 would cure most of it; that is the maddening part.

Squad

Aaron Kiil Olsen in a row with a teammate

It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Valerenga this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.

Match

A bad afternoon for Valerenga against Bodo/Glimt

0‑1 to Bodo/Glimt, and no complaints worth printing. The performance asked for nothing more than it got.

Boardroom

Valerenga are $87.1M in the red

The borrowing is past what the bank agreed, which is the line where a debt stops being how football is financed and starts being a problem. Every phone-in in this town will quote the figure for the next five years.

In brief

  • Player ratings Bop Guèye runs at them all day
  • Boardroom 89% of the income goes out in wages at Valerenga
  • Market Tromso are about to pick up the phone
558 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

6 Apr 2037
From our football correspondent Uneasy

Squad

A fracture rules Luka Dajčer out for 108 days

Bones knit. That is the one merciful thing about this injury and the reason Valerenga will talk about it more openly than they would about a knee. He will be back, and roughly when they say.

Squad

A knee injury of the worst kind for Nikola Udovicic

23 days on the estimate, and a long, private, unglamorous year of a rehabilitation nobody watches. Valerenga lose a footballer; he loses considerably more than a season.

Boardroom

Interim Coach has until the next board meeting

What was said behind closed doors has now been said in front of a microphone. Everybody at Valerenga can do the arithmetic, including the man it is aimed at.

Boardroom

Crisis meeting at Valerenga

The official line will be that it was routine. It was not routine, the timing says so, and every person in that room knows what the next bad result costs.

Market

The IK Start deal is off

Everything was agreed until it was not, and Oscar Hedvall reports back to Valerenga with a summer to forget. Neither club is saying who walked away from the table.

Market

Ilkka Lam hands in a written request

“I have nothing bad to say about this place. I just need to be somewhere else.” It is in writing now, which changes what Valerenga can pretend not to have heard.

Boardroom

An order from above at Valerenga: somebody has to go

Balance sheets do not care about form or about who the manager was planning to build around. The board have decided a sale is required, and the only question left is which name ends up carrying it.

Market

Filip Thorvaldsen wants to know where this is going

“I want to win things, and I would like to do it here.” Nothing has been demanded and nothing has been threatened — but a boardroom at Valerenga hears a sentence like that exactly as it was built.

Squad

Brice Ambina signs on for more

“Some decisions take a long time. This one took ten minutes, and most of that was finding a pen.” Brice Ambina and Valerenga agree another 2 years.

In brief

557 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

30 Mar 2037
From our football correspondent Crisis

Squad

A knee injury of the worst kind for Nikola Udovicic

30 days on the estimate, and a long, private, unglamorous year of a rehabilitation nobody watches. Valerenga lose a footballer; he loses considerably more than a season.

Squad

Jesper Renshusløkken breaks a bone — 15 days out

Brutal, unambiguous and, for all the horror of the moment, usually less career-shaped than the ligament everybody fears more. 15 days, a clean timeline, and a return date somebody can actually plan around.

Market

Only the photograph left for Oscar Hedvall

Fee agreed, terms agreed, medical booked. Oscar Hedvall will be somebody else’s player by the weekend, and around Valerenga the goodbyes have quietly begun.

Market

Valerenga turn down Sarpsborg 08 for Rody de Boer

The offer was not close and it was refused without much discussion. Whether the second one is refused as quickly is another matter.

Boardroom

Valerenga counting the cost

The accounts make uncomfortable reading. Wages first and ambition second is the order of business at Valerenga now.

Market

Bjorn Odegaard puts it in writing

“This is not anger. I have thought about it for months, and nothing that has happened lately changed my mind.” The request is on a desk at Valerenga, and it is not being withdrawn.

In brief

556 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

23 Mar 2037
From our football correspondent Crisis

Market

Rody de Boer asks to leave Valerenga

“I have given everything here and I need a new challenge.” The request is formal, and the relationship will never be quite the same again.

Squad

Jesper Renshusløkken breaks a bone — 22 days out

Brutal, unambiguous and, for all the horror of the moment, usually less career-shaped than the ligament everybody fears more. 22 days, a clean timeline, and a return date somebody can actually plan around.

Squad

Tempers go at Valerenga

Aaron Kiil Olsen was at the centre of it, and by the time it was pulled apart there were three or four others involved. Training grounds are small places and long seasons make them smaller.

Market

The Oscar Hedvall conversation is coming

Everyone has stopped pretending: IK Start will make the call about Oscar Hedvall this week. Valerenga have a number in mind, and the number is not shy.

Squad

Words at Valerenga training over how hard people work

Somebody said out loud what several people had been thinking. Filip Thorvaldsen is at the centre of it, and the squad will now find out whether the standard rises or the pair of them simply stop speaking.

Squad

When it matters, Aaron Kiil Olsen plays

It is never announced and it is entirely visible: the biggest afternoons of the season keep containing him. A press box works this out long before anybody at the club confirms a word of it.

In brief

555 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

16 Mar 2037
From our football correspondent Crisis

Boardroom

Pressure builds in the Valerenga boardroom

The directors have stopped offering the manager public warmth. In football that is usually the stage before the short statement.

Squad

Jesper Renshusløkken breaks a bone — 29 days out

Brutal, unambiguous and, for all the horror of the moment, usually less career-shaped than the ligament everybody fears more. 29 days, a clean timeline, and a return date somebody can actually plan around.

Market

Rody de Boer is on his way

The clubs have agreed terms, and what remains is formality: a medical, a photograph, a signature. Nobody at Valerenga is pretending he will be back in the shirt.

Market

Tom Stuckey asks to leave Valerenga

“I have given everything here and I need a new challenge.” The request is formal, and the relationship will never be quite the same again.

Market

Valerenga say no — this time

The offer from Viking for Morten Svensson was heard out and sent back the same day. First bids are rarely meant to succeed; they are meant to find out how loudly the door closes.

Squad

Rody de Boer in a row with a teammate

It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Valerenga this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.

In brief

554 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

9 Mar 2037
From our football correspondent Crisis

Squad

Jesper Renshusløkken breaks a bone — 36 days out

Brutal, unambiguous and, for all the horror of the moment, usually less career-shaped than the ligament everybody fears more. 36 days, a clean timeline, and a return date somebody can actually plan around.

Market

Valerenga say no — this time

The offer from IK Start for Oscar Hedvall was heard out and sent back the same day. First bids are rarely meant to succeed; they are meant to find out how loudly the door closes.

Market

Edwuin Cetré puts it in writing

“This is not anger. I have thought about it for months, and nothing that has happened lately changed my mind.” The request is on a desk at Valerenga, and it is not being withdrawn.

Squad

Tempers go at Valerenga

Aaron Kiil Olsen was at the centre of it, and by the time it was pulled apart there were three or four others involved. Training grounds are small places and long seasons make them smaller.

Squad

Words at Valerenga training over how hard people work

Somebody said out loud what several people had been thinking. Bop Guèye is at the centre of it, and the squad will now find out whether the standard rises or the pair of them simply stop speaking.

Market

Sarpsborg 08 are about to pick up the phone

A conversation is coming this week. Valerenga will put a number on him, and from there it stops being football and becomes arithmetic.

In brief

553 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

2 Mar 2037
From our football correspondent Crisis

Squad

A knee injury of the worst kind for Anders Bærtelsen

136 days on the estimate, and a long, private, unglamorous year of a rehabilitation nobody watches. Valerenga lose a footballer; he loses considerably more than a season.

Boardroom

Valerenga put Interim Coach on notice

The board have said in public what they had been saying in private. Results between now and the next meeting decide it, and everybody in the building knows the arithmetic.

Market

Karl Steinmann hands in a written request

“I have nothing bad to say about this place. I just need to be somewhere else.” It is in writing now, which changes what Valerenga can pretend not to have heard.

Squad

Jesper Renshusløkken breaks a bone — 43 days out

Brutal, unambiguous and, for all the horror of the moment, usually less career-shaped than the ligament everybody fears more. 43 days, a clean timeline, and a return date somebody can actually plan around.

Market

Oscar Hedvall is on his way

The clubs have agreed terms, and what remains is formality: a medical, a photograph, a signature. Nobody at Valerenga is pretending he will be back in the shirt.

Boardroom

The Valerenga board call everybody in

Nothing has been announced and everybody understands what it means. A board that summons the whole football department on a Tuesday morning is a board that has stopped believing the problem will fix itself.

Boardroom

Valerenga counting the cost

The accounts make uncomfortable reading. Wages first and ambition second is the order of business at Valerenga now.

Boardroom

The Valerenga board want somebody sold

The instruction has come from upstairs rather than from the dugout, which is the version of this conversation no manager enjoys. Somebody in that squad is now available whether the man who picks the team thinks so or not.

Squad

Aaron Kiil Olsen in a row with a teammate

It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Valerenga this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.

In brief

552 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

23 Feb 2037
From our football correspondent Crisis

Squad

A knee injury of the worst kind for Anders Bærtelsen

143 days on the estimate, and a long, private, unglamorous year of a rehabilitation nobody watches. Valerenga lose a footballer; he loses considerably more than a season.

Squad

Jesper Renshusløkken breaks a bone — 50 days out

Brutal, unambiguous and, for all the horror of the moment, usually less career-shaped than the ligament everybody fears more. 50 days, a clean timeline, and a return date somebody can actually plan around.

Market

Rody de Boer puts it in writing

“This is not anger. I have thought about it for months, and nothing that has happened lately changed my mind.” The request is on a desk at Valerenga, and it is not being withdrawn.

Market

Sarpsborg 08 come back empty-handed

The bid was some way short and Valerenga did not need long over it. Nobody in the game reads a first refusal as the end of anything.

Market

Morten Svensson has one foot out of the door

Terms are settled between the clubs and the rest is paperwork and a photograph. Around Valerenga they have already started talking about him in the past tense.

Squad

Anders Bærtelsen in a row with a teammate

It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Valerenga this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.

In brief

551 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

16 Feb 2037
From our football correspondent Crisis

Boardroom

Pressure builds in the Valerenga boardroom

The directors have stopped offering the manager public warmth. In football that is usually the stage before the short statement.

Squad

Jesper Renshusløkken breaks a bone — 57 days out

Brutal, unambiguous and, for all the horror of the moment, usually less career-shaped than the ligament everybody fears more. 57 days, a clean timeline, and a return date somebody can actually plan around.

Market

Taha Usman puts it in writing

“This is not anger. I have thought about it for months, and nothing that has happened lately changed my mind.” The request is on a desk at Valerenga, and it is not being withdrawn.

Market

Valerenga say no — this time

The offer from Odd for Bjorn Odegaard was heard out and sent back the same day. First bids are rarely meant to succeed; they are meant to find out how loudly the door closes.

Squad

Tempers go at Valerenga

Anders Bærtelsen was at the centre of it, and by the time it was pulled apart there were three or four others involved. Training grounds are small places and long seasons make them smaller.

Squad

Aaron Kiil Olsen falls out with a teammate over standards

The oldest argument in any dressing room and the only one that is genuinely about football: one man thinks another is not putting enough in. It is also the row a manager privately does not mind having happened.

In brief

550 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

9 Feb 2037
From our football correspondent Crisis

Market

IK Start come back empty-handed

The bid was some way short and Valerenga did not need long over it. Nobody in the game reads a first refusal as the end of anything.

Market

Ilkka Lam asks to leave Valerenga

“I have given everything here and I need a new challenge.” The request is formal, and the relationship will never be quite the same again.

Squad

Gabriel Guri keeps the receipts

“I remember the meeting. I remember exactly what was promised in it.” Valerenga may remember it differently, which is precisely the problem.

Market

Filip Thorvaldsen wants European nights

The general version of this complaint is that a player wants more. The specific version names the thing: he wants to walk out under floodlights against clubs from other countries, and he has stopped pretending otherwise.

Squad

Aaron Kiil Olsen signs on for more

“Some decisions take a long time. This one took ten minutes, and most of that was finding a pen.” Aaron Kiil Olsen and Valerenga agree another 2 years.

Squad

Aaron Kiil Olsen in a row with a teammate

It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Valerenga this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.

In brief

549 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

2 Feb 2037
From our football correspondent Crisis

Squad

A knee injury of the worst kind for Max Merrick

19 days on the estimate, and a long, private, unglamorous year of a rehabilitation nobody watches. Valerenga lose a footballer; he loses considerably more than a season.

Boardroom

Interim Coach has until the next board meeting

What was said behind closed doors has now been said in front of a microphone. Everybody at Valerenga can do the arithmetic, including the man it is aimed at.

Boardroom

Crisis meeting at Valerenga

The official line will be that it was routine. It was not routine, the timing says so, and every person in that room knows what the next bad result costs.

Market

Tom Stuckey puts it in writing

“This is not anger. I have thought about it for months, and nothing that has happened lately changed my mind.” The request is on a desk at Valerenga, and it is not being withdrawn.

Boardroom

An order from above at Valerenga: somebody has to go

Balance sheets do not care about form or about who the manager was planning to build around. The board have decided a sale is required, and the only question left is which name ends up carrying it.

Squad

Aaron Kiil Olsen signs a new deal

“I never wanted to be anywhere else. There is unfinished business here.” Aaron Kiil Olsen commits to Valerenga for another 2 years.

Squad

Anders Bærtelsen in a row with a teammate

It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Valerenga this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.

Squad

Words at Valerenga training over how hard people work

Somebody said out loud what several people had been thinking. Aaron Kiil Olsen is at the centre of it, and the squad will now find out whether the standard rises or the pair of them simply stop speaking.

Boardroom

$490.9K of the owner's money at Valerenga

The shortfall was covered from upstairs again. Supporters are entitled to be relieved and entitled to ask what happens the month it is not, and both feelings usually arrive together.

In brief

548 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

26 Jan 2037
From our football correspondent Crisis

Squad

A knee injury of the worst kind for Max Merrick

26 days on the estimate, and a long, private, unglamorous year of a rehabilitation nobody watches. Valerenga lose a footballer; he loses considerably more than a season.

Market

Rody de Boer hands in a written request

“I have nothing bad to say about this place. I just need to be somewhere else.” It is in writing now, which changes what Valerenga can pretend not to have heard.

Squad

Tempers go at Valerenga

Anders Bærtelsen was at the centre of it, and by the time it was pulled apart there were three or four others involved. Training grounds are small places and long seasons make them smaller.

In brief

547 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

19 Jan 2037
From our football correspondent Crisis

Squad

A knee injury of the worst kind for Max Merrick

33 days on the estimate, and a long, private, unglamorous year of a rehabilitation nobody watches. Valerenga lose a footballer; he loses considerably more than a season.

Boardroom

Pressure builds in the Valerenga boardroom

The directors have stopped offering the manager public warmth. In football that is usually the stage before the short statement.

Market

Edwuin Cetré puts it in writing

“This is not anger. I have thought about it for months, and nothing that has happened lately changed my mind.” The request is on a desk at Valerenga, and it is not being withdrawn.

Squad

Tempers go at Valerenga

Aaron Kiil Olsen was at the centre of it, and by the time it was pulled apart there were three or four others involved. Training grounds are small places and long seasons make them smaller.

Squad

Words at Valerenga training over how hard people work

Somebody said out loud what several people had been thinking. Filip Thorvaldsen is at the centre of it, and the squad will now find out whether the standard rises or the pair of them simply stop speaking.

Squad

Oscar Hedvall gets it from the manager

“Nobody here is above being told.” It was not said with a name attached, but the dressing room can count, and so can everybody who was listening.

In brief

546 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

12 Jan 2037
From our football correspondent Crisis

Squad

A knee injury of the worst kind for Max Merrick

40 days on the estimate, and a long, private, unglamorous year of a rehabilitation nobody watches. Valerenga lose a footballer; he loses considerably more than a season.

Market

Taha Usman hands in a written request

“I have nothing bad to say about this place. I just need to be somewhere else.” It is in writing now, which changes what Valerenga can pretend not to have heard.

Squad

Bendik Berntsen: that is not what I was promised

“Things were said to me before I signed. I am not going to repeat them, but I remember all of them.” Valerenga have not answered, which is an answer of sorts.

Squad

Tempers go at Valerenga

Anders Bærtelsen was at the centre of it, and by the time it was pulled apart there were three or four others involved. Training grounds are small places and long seasons make them smaller.

Squad

Aaron Kiil Olsen falls out with a teammate over standards

The oldest argument in any dressing room and the only one that is genuinely about football: one man thinks another is not putting enough in. It is also the row a manager privately does not mind having happened.

Boardroom

Valerenga are $83.7M in the red

The borrowing is past what the bank agreed, which is the line where a debt stops being how football is financed and starts being a problem. Every phone-in in this town will quote the figure for the next five years.

In brief

545 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

5 Jan 2037
From our football correspondent Crisis

Boardroom

Interim Coach has until the next board meeting

What was said behind closed doors has now been said in front of a microphone. Everybody at Valerenga can do the arithmetic, including the man it is aimed at.

Boardroom

Crisis meeting at Valerenga

The official line will be that it was routine. It was not routine, the timing says so, and every person in that room knows what the next bad result costs.

Squad

13 seasons of Aaron Kiil Olsen

363 appearances across 13 seasons in these colours. Careers like that are not built any more, and Valerenga know what they have.

Market

Bjorn Odegaard hands in a written request

“I have nothing bad to say about this place. I just need to be somewhere else.” It is in writing now, which changes what Valerenga can pretend not to have heard.

Boardroom

An order from above at Valerenga: somebody has to go

Balance sheets do not care about form or about who the manager was planning to build around. The board have decided a sale is required, and the only question left is which name ends up carrying it.

Market

Only the photograph left for Morten Svensson

Fee agreed, terms agreed, medical booked. Morten Svensson will be somebody else’s player by the weekend, and around Valerenga the goodbyes have quietly begun.

Squad

Anders Bærtelsen in a row with a teammate

It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Valerenga this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.

Squad

A last season at home is what Rody de Boer is after

It is sentimental, it is completely genuine, and it is the beginning of a departure nobody has announced. The club can be gracious about it or it can pretend not to have heard.

Squad

Words at Valerenga training over how hard people work

Somebody said out loud what several people had been thinking. Aaron Kiil Olsen is at the centre of it, and the squad will now find out whether the standard rises or the pair of them simply stop speaking.

In brief

544 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

29 Dec 2036
From our football correspondent Crisis

Market

Rody de Boer puts it in writing

“This is not anger. I have thought about it for months, and nothing that has happened lately changed my mind.” The request is on a desk at Valerenga, and it is not being withdrawn.

Squad

Aaron Kiil Olsen in a row with a teammate

It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Valerenga this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.

Market

Valerenga may not be able to give Maximiliano Porcel what he wants

It is the most legitimate ambition in the sport and the hardest for most clubs to satisfy. Maximiliano Porcel wants continental football; whether Valerenga can provide it is a question about the next two seasons, not about him.

In brief

543 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

22 Dec 2036
From our football correspondent Crisis

Boardroom

The silence upstairs is getting loud at Valerenga

Nobody on the board has said anything against the manager, which is the point — they have stopped saying anything for him either.

Squad

Anwar Moutawafiq: that is not what I was promised

“Things were said to me before I signed. I am not going to repeat them, but I remember all of them.” Valerenga have not answered, which is an answer of sorts.

Market

Valerenga may not be able to give Filip Thorvaldsen what he wants

It is the most legitimate ambition in the sport and the hardest for most clubs to satisfy. Filip Thorvaldsen wants continental football; whether Valerenga can provide it is a question about the next two seasons, not about him.

Squad

Anders Bærtelsen in a row with a teammate

It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Valerenga this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.

Squad

Words at Valerenga training over how hard people work

Somebody said out loud what several people had been thinking. Aaron Kiil Olsen is at the centre of it, and the squad will now find out whether the standard rises or the pair of them simply stop speaking.

Boardroom

No signings allowed at Valerenga

The manager may talk to whoever he likes and may pay nobody. A squad survives a window like this by borrowing, by promoting, and by hoping the injuries land somewhere else.

In brief

542 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

15 Dec 2036
From our football correspondent Crisis

Market

Taha Usman asks to leave Valerenga

“I have given everything here and I need a new challenge.” The request is formal, and the relationship will never be quite the same again.

Squad

Tempers go at Valerenga

Anders Bærtelsen was at the centre of it, and by the time it was pulled apart there were three or four others involved. Training grounds are small places and long seasons make them smaller.

Squad

Aaron Kiil Olsen falls out with a teammate over standards

The oldest argument in any dressing room and the only one that is genuinely about football: one man thinks another is not putting enough in. It is also the row a manager privately does not mind having happened.

Squad

A move René Schäfer would have made for nothing

There is a version of every career where the player ends up somewhere he chose rather than somewhere that chose him. René Schäfer is living that version at Valerenga, and it tends to show in the first month.

Squad

Valerenga lose Magnus Henriksen

33 days, the medical staff say, and medical staff are optimists by profession. The team sheet will look wrong without him.

Boardroom

99% of the income goes out in wages at Valerenga

Every club in football pays most of what it earns to its players. Paying nearly all of it is a different arrangement, and it has ended the same way every time somebody has tried it.

In brief

541 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

8 Dec 2036
From our football correspondent Crisis

Boardroom

Valerenga put Interim Coach on notice

The board have said in public what they had been saying in private. Results between now and the next meeting decide it, and everybody in the building knows the arithmetic.

Boardroom

An order from above at Valerenga: somebody has to go

Balance sheets do not care about form or about who the manager was planning to build around. The board have decided a sale is required, and the only question left is which name ends up carrying it.

Market

Only the photograph left for Morten Svensson

Fee agreed, terms agreed, medical booked. Morten Svensson will be somebody else’s player by the weekend, and around Valerenga the goodbyes have quietly begun.

Squad

Anders Bærtelsen in a row with a teammate

It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Valerenga this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.

Squad

Rody de Boer wants to go home

“I have given this everything, but my family is not here and neither am I, not really.” A footballer can be coached out of bad form. Nobody has ever been coached out of this, and Valerenga know it.

Squad

Words at Valerenga training over how hard people work

Somebody said out loud what several people had been thinking. Aaron Kiil Olsen is at the centre of it, and the squad will now find out whether the standard rises or the pair of them simply stop speaking.

Boardroom

$1.3M of the owner's money at Valerenga

The shortfall was covered from upstairs again. Supporters are entitled to be relieved and entitled to ask what happens the month it is not, and both feelings usually arrive together.

Squad

Jesper Renshusløkken pulls a muscle — 14 days out

The injury that keeps coming back, keeps being rushed back from, and quietly costs more careers than the dramatic ones. 14 days is the estimate; the honest figure depends on whether anybody is patient.

Boardroom

The Valerenga debt reaches $84.2M

Football clubs borrow; that is not the story. Borrowing more than the facility allows is, because from here it is the owner's money or somebody else's decision, and neither of those belongs to the board.

In brief

540 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

1 Dec 2036
From our football correspondent Crisis

Market

Rody de Boer puts it in writing

“This is not anger. I have thought about it for months, and nothing that has happened lately changed my mind.” The request is on a desk at Valerenga, and it is not being withdrawn.

Market

Filip Thorvaldsen wants more than Valerenga are offering

“I have ambitions, and I would like the club to share them.” Nobody has asked to leave and nobody has been shown the door — but a player chooses that sentence carefully, and a boardroom hears it exactly as it was meant.

Squad

Aaron Kiil Olsen in a row with a teammate

It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Valerenga this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.

Squad

Bop Guèye falls out with a teammate over standards

The oldest argument in any dressing room and the only one that is genuinely about football: one man thinks another is not putting enough in. It is also the row a manager privately does not mind having happened.

Squad

The manager's exit leaves Aaron Kiil Olsen exposed

Every squad has men who were signed by a particular manager and men who were merely inherited. Aaron Kiil Olsen is in the first group, and the man who wanted him here is no longer in the building.

Squad

When it matters, Anders Bærtelsen plays

It is never announced and it is entirely visible: the biggest afternoons of the season keep containing him. A press box works this out long before anybody at the club confirms a word of it.

In brief

539 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

24 Nov 2036
From our football correspondent Crisis

Boardroom

The scrutiny sharpens at Valerenga

Nobody upstairs has said anything, which is the loudest thing they could do. Results buy silence in this game; the account at Valerenga is running low.

Squad

Oscar Hedvall: that is not what I was promised

“Things were said to me before I signed. I am not going to repeat them, but I remember all of them.” Valerenga have not answered, which is an answer of sorts.

Squad

Anders Bærtelsen in a row with a teammate

It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Valerenga this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.

Squad

Words at Valerenga training over how hard people work

Somebody said out loud what several people had been thinking. Aaron Kiil Olsen is at the centre of it, and the squad will now find out whether the standard rises or the pair of them simply stop speaking.

Boardroom

No signings allowed at Valerenga

The manager may talk to whoever he likes and may pay nobody. A squad survives a window like this by borrowing, by promoting, and by hoping the injuries land somewhere else.

Squad

When it matters, Bop Guèye plays

It is never announced and it is entirely visible: the biggest afternoons of the season keep containing him. A press box works this out long before anybody at the club confirms a word of it.

In brief

538 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

17 Nov 2036
From our football correspondent Crisis

Market

Bjorn Odegaard hands in a written request

“I have nothing bad to say about this place. I just need to be somewhere else.” It is in writing now, which changes what Valerenga can pretend not to have heard.

Squad

Tempers go at Valerenga

Anders Bærtelsen was at the centre of it, and by the time it was pulled apart there were three or four others involved. Training grounds are small places and long seasons make them smaller.

Squad

Aaron Kiil Olsen falls out with a teammate over standards

The oldest argument in any dressing room and the only one that is genuinely about football: one man thinks another is not putting enough in. It is also the row a manager privately does not mind having happened.

In brief

537 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

10 Nov 2036
From our football correspondent Crisis

Squad

João Felisberto keeps the receipts

“I remember the meeting. I remember exactly what was promised in it.” Valerenga may remember it differently, which is precisely the problem.

Market

Ilkka Lam hands in a written request

“I have nothing bad to say about this place. I just need to be somewhere else.” It is in writing now, which changes what Valerenga can pretend not to have heard.

Market

Morten Svensson has one foot out of the door

Terms are settled between the clubs and the rest is paperwork and a photograph. Around Valerenga they have already started talking about him in the past tense.

Squad

Anders Bærtelsen in a row with a teammate

It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Valerenga this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.

Squad

Words at Valerenga training over how hard people work

Somebody said out loud what several people had been thinking. Aaron Kiil Olsen is at the centre of it, and the squad will now find out whether the standard rises or the pair of them simply stop speaking.

Boardroom

140% of the income goes out in wages at Valerenga

Every club in football pays most of what it earns to its players. Paying nearly all of it is a different arrangement, and it has ended the same way every time somebody has tried it.

In brief

536 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

3 Nov 2036
From our football correspondent Crisis

Boardroom

Interim Coach has until the next board meeting

What was said behind closed doors has now been said in front of a microphone. Everybody at Valerenga can do the arithmetic, including the man it is aimed at.

Market

Rody de Boer puts it in writing

“This is not anger. I have thought about it for months, and nothing that has happened lately changed my mind.” The request is on a desk at Valerenga, and it is not being withdrawn.

Boardroom

The Valerenga board want somebody sold

The instruction has come from upstairs rather than from the dugout, which is the version of this conversation no manager enjoys. Somebody in that squad is now available whether the man who picks the team thinks so or not.

Squad

Tempers go at Valerenga

Anders Bærtelsen was at the centre of it, and by the time it was pulled apart there were three or four others involved. Training grounds are small places and long seasons make them smaller.

Squad

A move Axel De Bruyne would have made for nothing

There is a version of every career where the player ends up somewhere he chose rather than somewhere that chose him. Axel De Bruyne is living that version at Valerenga, and it tends to show in the first month.

Squad

Aaron Kiil Olsen falls out with a teammate over standards

The oldest argument in any dressing room and the only one that is genuinely about football: one man thinks another is not putting enough in. It is also the row a manager privately does not mind having happened.

Boardroom

The owner puts $2.5M into Valerenga

This is money that keeps the lights on rather than money that buys a centre-half, and the difference is the whole story. A club funded by its owner rather than by its football has exactly one conversation left ahead of it.

Squad

No hiding place for Oscar Hedvall

“I pick players who do the work. All of it.” No name was spoken; every camera still turned to Oscar Hedvall, and the manager let it.

Market

The Filip Thorvaldsen question follows Valerenga around

Every press conference now starts and ends the same way: with Filip Thorvaldsen’s future. The manager has run out of new ways to say nothing.

In brief

535 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

27 Oct 2036
From our football correspondent Crisis

Boardroom

The silence upstairs is getting loud at Valerenga

Nobody on the board has said anything against the manager, which is the point — they have stopped saying anything for him either.

Market

Taha Usman puts it in writing

“This is not anger. I have thought about it for months, and nothing that has happened lately changed my mind.” The request is on a desk at Valerenga, and it is not being withdrawn.

Squad

Chinedu Ekene keeps the receipts

“I remember the meeting. I remember exactly what was promised in it.” Valerenga may remember it differently, which is precisely the problem.

Match

No end in sight to Valerenga's wait for a win

4 matches now without a victory, and the excuses have worn thinner than the patience. Somebody at Valerenga has to find a result from somewhere.

Squad

Anders Bærtelsen in a row with a teammate

It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Valerenga this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.

Squad

Words at Valerenga training over how hard people work

Somebody said out loud what several people had been thinking. Aaron Kiil Olsen is at the centre of it, and the squad will now find out whether the standard rises or the pair of them simply stop speaking.

Squad

Bop Guèye is carrying Valerenga

7 goals and a season average of 7.55. Form like that gets noticed well beyond this town.

Match

No clean sheets in sight for Valerenga

4 games now with at least two against. The back line has been rearranged, the goalkeeper has been backed publicly, and the goals keep going in anyway.

Boardroom

No signings allowed at Valerenga

The manager may talk to whoever he likes and may pay nobody. A squad survives a window like this by borrowing, by promoting, and by hoping the injuries land somewhere else.

In brief

534 Edition

The Valerenga Gazette

20 Oct 2036
From our football correspondent Crisis

Squad

A one-man rearguard from Max Merrick

There were 8 saves in it, and at least three that had no business being saves at all. The ten outfield players owe him a drink and they know it.

Squad

Lamin Njie keeps the receipts

“I remember the meeting. I remember exactly what was promised in it.” Valerenga may remember it differently, which is precisely the problem.

Squad

Tempers go at Valerenga

Anders Bærtelsen was at the centre of it, and by the time it was pulled apart there were three or four others involved. Training grounds are small places and long seasons make them smaller.

Market

Valerenga may not be able to give Maximiliano Porcel what he wants

It is the most legitimate ambition in the sport and the hardest for most clubs to satisfy. Maximiliano Porcel wants continental football; whether Valerenga can provide it is a question about the next two seasons, not about him.

Squad

Aaron Kiil Olsen falls out with a teammate over standards

The oldest argument in any dressing room and the only one that is genuinely about football: one man thinks another is not putting enough in. It is also the row a manager privately does not mind having happened.

Match

Molde take the points off Valerenga

Beaten 0‑2, and beaten fairly. The manager kept his words short afterwards, which was probably wise.

Player ratings

Nobody could get near Bop Guèye

Successful dribbles: 16. Every time he got the ball somebody had to make a decision, and every time the decision was wrong.

Market

Aaron Kiil Olsen linked with a move away

The name of Aaron Kiil Olsen keeps appearing in other people's back pages. Valerenga say nothing, which says plenty.

Player ratings

Taha Usman keeps on missing

Shots: 9, not one of them in. A centre forward is paid for one thing, and on this evidence he has forgotten which thing it is.

In brief