Patrick Meling

Striker - Mjondalen
1 Jan 2036
Tuesday
Process

Marked for Patrick Meling

489 Edition

The Mjondalen Chronicle

10 Dec 2035
From our football correspondent Crisis

Squad

Armand Wangen in a row with a teammate

It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Mjondalen this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.

Squad

Words at Mjondalen training over how hard people work

Somebody said out loud what several people had been thinking. Christos Gravius is at the centre of it, and the squad will now find out whether the standard rises or the pair of them simply stop speaking.

Squad

Ruben Berge signs on for more

“Some decisions take a long time. This one took ten minutes, and most of that was finding a pen.” Ruben Berge and Mjondalen agree another 4 years.

In brief

Back issues
488 Edition

The Mjondalen Chronicle

3 Dec 2035
From our football correspondent Crisis

Boardroom

Mjondalen spell it out for Interim Coach

The board’s statement ran to three sentences and one of them mentioned results. Interim Coach has managed long enough to translate: win soon, or the next statement is shorter.

Match

Mjondalen are in real trouble now

Position 14, 30 points, and a fixture list with fewer games left in it than excuses. The arithmetic is not cruel yet, but it has stopped being kind.

Squad

Patrick Meling: that is not what I was promised

“Things were said to me before I signed. I am not going to repeat them, but I remember all of them.” Mjondalen have not answered, which is an answer of sorts.

Squad

Olav Veum stays put

“The easiest signature of my career.” Olav Veum and Mjondalen agree another 3 years, and the manager can plan around him rather than about him.

Squad

Olav Veum in a row with a teammate

It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Mjondalen this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.

Squad

Christos Gravius falls out with a teammate over standards

The oldest argument in any dressing room and the only one that is genuinely about football: one man thinks another is not putting enough in. It is also the row a manager privately does not mind having happened.

In brief

  • Boardroom $621.1K taken back off the Mjondalen table
  • Boardroom The Mjondalen production line keeps running
  • Boardroom Mjondalen were not finished after all
479 Edition

The Mjondalen Chronicle

1 Oct 2035
From our football correspondent Crisis

Squad

Valdemar Schmølker damages knee ligaments — 39 days out

The words a physio says slowly. 39 days is what the club will announce and everybody who has heard this diagnosis before knows the number is the least of it: the knee comes back before the player does.

Boardroom

The silence upstairs is getting loud at Mjondalen

Nobody on the board has said anything against the manager, which is the point — they have stopped saying anything for him either.

Player ratings

Nobody could get near Henrique Aguiar

Successful dribbles: 27. Every time he got the ball somebody had to make a decision, and every time the decision was wrong.

Squad

Patrick Meling keeps the receipts

“I remember the meeting. I remember exactly what was promised in it.” Mjondalen may remember it differently, which is precisely the problem.

Squad

Joel Mvuka in a row with a teammate

It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Mjondalen this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.

Squad

Words at Mjondalen training over how hard people work

Somebody said out loud what several people had been thinking. Christos Gravius is at the centre of it, and the squad will now find out whether the standard rises or the pair of them simply stop speaking.

In brief

474 Edition

The Mjondalen Chronicle

27 Aug 2035
From our football correspondent Crisis

The terraces

Anger at Mjondalen spills outside the ground

It has stopped being a mood in the stands and started being something organised. Boards can ignore a bad atmosphere for a long time; they cannot ignore this stage of it for very long at all.

Squad

A knee injury of the worst kind for Valdemar Schmølker

74 days on the estimate, and a long, private, unglamorous year of a rehabilitation nobody watches. Mjondalen lose a footballer; he loses considerably more than a season.

Match

Mjondalen taken apart

1‑8 to Bodo/Glimt, and it was every bit as bad as the number suggests. There are defeats you argue about and defeats you apologise for; this was the second kind.

Match

The wait goes on for Mjondalen

4 without a win now, and the ground has developed the special quiet of a crowd that expects the worst. One scrappy 1-0 would cure most of it; that is the maddening part.

Squad

A long afternoon for Dennis Birkenes

Beaten 8 times, with 4 saves for company. Goalkeepers carry these scorelines on their record whoever actually caused them, which is the quiet injustice of the job.

Squad

Tempers go at Mjondalen

Olav Veum was at the centre of it, and by the time it was pulled apart there were three or four others involved. Training grounds are small places and long seasons make them smaller.

Match

Joel Mvuka among the goals in a wild afternoon

9 goals in one match, Joel Mvuka on the scoresheet, and a scoreline that will look like a misprint. Neutrals could not have asked more of Mjondalen and Bodo/Glimt.

Squad

Words at Mjondalen training over how hard people work

Somebody said out loud what several people had been thinking. Christos Gravius is at the centre of it, and the squad will now find out whether the standard rises or the pair of them simply stop speaking.

Boardroom

Inquest at Mjondalen

The manager kept them in and said what needed saying. A response is expected on Saturday, and if it does not come the questions move upstairs.

In brief

451 Edition

The Mjondalen Chronicle

19 Mar 2035
From our football correspondent Uneasy

Squad

Tempers go at Mjondalen

Joel Mvuka was at the centre of it, and by the time it was pulled apart there were three or four others involved. Training grounds are small places and long seasons make them smaller.

Squad

Words at Mjondalen training over how hard people work

Somebody said out loud what several people had been thinking. Christian Mork Breivik is at the centre of it, and the squad will now find out whether the standard rises or the pair of them simply stop speaking.

Squad

Henrique Aguiar gets it from the manager

“Nobody here is above being told.” It was not said with a name attached, but the dressing room can count, and so can everybody who was listening.

In brief

450 Edition

The Mjondalen Chronicle

12 Mar 2035
From our football correspondent Uneasy

The terraces

Anger at Mjondalen spills outside the ground

It has stopped being a mood in the stands and started being something organised. Boards can ignore a bad atmosphere for a long time; they cannot ignore this stage of it for very long at all.

Squad

Armand Wangen in a row with a teammate

It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Mjondalen this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.

Squad

Words at Mjondalen training over how hard people work

Somebody said out loud what several people had been thinking. Christos Gravius is at the centre of it, and the squad will now find out whether the standard rises or the pair of them simply stop speaking.

In brief

447 Edition

The Mjondalen Chronicle

19 Feb 2035
From our football correspondent Crisis

Squad

Tempers go at Mjondalen

Armand Wangen was at the centre of it, and by the time it was pulled apart there were three or four others involved. Training grounds are small places and long seasons make them smaller.

Squad

Christos Gravius falls out with a teammate over standards

The oldest argument in any dressing room and the only one that is genuinely about football: one man thinks another is not putting enough in. It is also the row a manager privately does not mind having happened.

Squad

“I want to play”: Patrick Meling speaks

“I respect the manager and I am not going to sit here and pretend I am happy.” It is the most common sentence in football and it has never once been the end of a story.

In brief

  • Squad Jens King asks for a word with the manager
446 Edition

The Mjondalen Chronicle

12 Feb 2035
From our football correspondent Crisis

The terraces

Anger at Mjondalen spills outside the ground

It has stopped being a mood in the stands and started being something organised. Boards can ignore a bad atmosphere for a long time; they cannot ignore this stage of it for very long at all.

Squad

Tempers go at Mjondalen

Olav Veum was at the centre of it, and by the time it was pulled apart there were three or four others involved. Training grounds are small places and long seasons make them smaller.

Squad

Words at Mjondalen training over how hard people work

Somebody said out loud what several people had been thinking. Christos Gravius is at the centre of it, and the squad will now find out whether the standard rises or the pair of them simply stop speaking.

In brief

439 Edition

The Mjondalen Chronicle

25 Dec 2034
From our football correspondent Uneasy

Squad

Tempers go at Mjondalen

Christos Gravius was at the centre of it, and by the time it was pulled apart there were three or four others involved. Training grounds are small places and long seasons make them smaller.

Squad

Christian Mork Breivik falls out with a teammate over standards

The oldest argument in any dressing room and the only one that is genuinely about football: one man thinks another is not putting enough in. It is also the row a manager privately does not mind having happened.

Boardroom

87% of the income goes out in wages at Mjondalen

Every club in football pays most of what it earns to its players. Paying nearly all of it is a different arrangement, and it has ended the same way every time somebody has tried it.

In brief

435 Edition

The Mjondalen Chronicle

27 Nov 2034
From our football correspondent Crisis

Squad

Armand Wangen in a row with a teammate

It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Mjondalen this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.

Squad

Words at Mjondalen training over how hard people work

Somebody said out loud what several people had been thinking. Christos Gravius is at the centre of it, and the squad will now find out whether the standard rises or the pair of them simply stop speaking.

Squad

No hiding place for Mathias Blårud

“I pick players who do the work. All of it.” No name was spoken; every camera still turned to Mathias Blårud, and the manager let it.

In brief

413 Edition

The Mjondalen Chronicle

26 Jun 2034
From our football correspondent Steady

Squad

Alexander Johansen damages knee ligaments — 19 days out

The words a physio says slowly. 19 days is what the club will announce and everybody who has heard this diagnosis before knows the number is the least of it: the knee comes back before the player does.

Squad

A fracture rules Ware Peter Natana out for 116 days

Bones knit. That is the one merciful thing about this injury and the reason Mjondalen will talk about it more openly than they would about a knee. He will be back, and roughly when they say.

Squad

Patrick Meling: that is not what I was promised

“Things were said to me before I signed. I am not going to repeat them, but I remember all of them.” Mjondalen have not answered, which is an answer of sorts.

Match

No end in sight to Mjondalen's wait for a win

4 matches now without a victory, and the excuses have worn thinner than the patience. Somebody at Mjondalen has to find a result from somewhere.

Squad

Armand Wangen in a row with a teammate

It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Mjondalen this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.

Player ratings

Joel Mvuka was on a different afternoon to everybody else

8.12. There are performances a supporter describes to somebody who was not there and cannot quite convey; this was one, and the number does not help either.

In brief

404 Edition

The Mjondalen Chronicle

24 Apr 2034
From our football correspondent Steady

Player ratings

Joel Mvuka runs at them all day

Successful dribbles: 44. There is a particular sort of despair on a full-back's face by the seventieth minute, and it was on display.

Squad

Tempers go at Mjondalen

Olav Veum was at the centre of it, and by the time it was pulled apart there were three or four others involved. Training grounds are small places and long seasons make them smaller.

Squad

Words at Mjondalen training over how hard people work

Somebody said out loud what several people had been thinking. Christos Gravius is at the centre of it, and the squad will now find out whether the standard rises or the pair of them simply stop speaking.

Match

A bad afternoon for Mjondalen against Rosenborg

0‑1 to Rosenborg, and no complaints worth printing. The performance asked for nothing more than it got.

Squad

Patrick Meling stays put

“The easiest signature of my career.” Patrick Meling and Mjondalen agree another 4 years, and the manager can plan around him rather than about him.

Squad

Mjondalen pick somebody else ahead of Mathias Blårud

There is no complaint available here and everybody involved knows it, which does not make the walk to the bench any shorter. Form is the only currency in football that cannot be borrowed against.

In brief

399 Edition

The Mjondalen Chronicle

20 Mar 2034
From our football correspondent Uneasy

Squad

A knee injury of the worst kind for Markus Ottesen

36 days on the estimate, and a long, private, unglamorous year of a rehabilitation nobody watches. Mjondalen lose a footballer; he loses considerably more than a season.

Match

Every point is an argument now for Mjondalen

Position 14 and 29 points, and the table gets read bottom-up in this part of town. The calendar has stopped being a schedule and started being a countdown.

Squad

A fracture rules Thomas Lien out for 33 days

Bones knit. That is the one merciful thing about this injury and the reason Mjondalen will talk about it more openly than they would about a knee. He will be back, and roughly when they say.

In brief