Derby days make names, and Sam Lammers made his against Jong Ajax. 94‑0, bragging rights secured, and one half of town will be tired of hearing about him by Tuesday.
94 goals in one match, Sam Lammers on the scoresheet, and a scoreline that will look like a misprint. Neutrals could not have asked more of Jong PSV and Jong Ajax.
“The players deserve the credit. My job was easy today.” It was not, and everybody in the room knew it; after 94‑0, Guus Janssen could afford to be generous.
Some afternoons a goalkeeper is the whole of the defence. 32 saves, several of them the kind nobody expects to see made, and ten outfield players who owe him a drink.
12 games now with at least two against. The back line has been rearranged, the goalkeeper has been backed publicly, and the goals keep going in anyway.
Defending was optional and nobody took up the option. 18 goals between Jong PSV and De Graafschap, and not one of the people who paid to be there will ask for the money back.
The fixture the calendar is arranged around. Form goes out of the window, the table is not consulted, and for ninety minutes Jong PSV will be judged on one thing only.
In brief
BoardroomNobody left the Jong PSV dressing room in a hurry
The dugoutThe view from the dugout
Player ratingsSam Lammers beats them one at a time
“It had gone on long enough. I would rather have it out than leave it sitting there.” Ten minutes behind a closed door at Jong PSV, and both men came out saying it was fine.
They sit in position 14 and they will be waiting. Away form is where a season shows its true character, and this side has a point to make about its own.
Two or more conceded in each of the last 10 matches. It is not one mistake repeating itself, which would be the easier thing to fix; it is a different one every week.
Defending was optional and nobody took up the option. 14 goals between Jong PSV and Den Bosch, and not one of the people who paid to be there will ask for the money back.
“The supporters are entitled to be angry. So am I. We will put it right.” 0‑14, a manager saying the necessary things, and a dressing room that heard a different version of them.
Two goals and a mark of 8.95 to go with them. Strikers are judged on afternoons like this one and remembered for far fewer of them than people imagine.
8 without a win is the sort of run that changes how a town talks about its club, and Helmond Sport were the afternoon it stopped. Nothing is fixed by one result and everything feels different by one.
A 3‑2 win over Helmond Sport, earned rather than given, and the sort of afternoon that sends everyone home talking about next week instead of this one.
Helmond Sport held the lead for 4 minutes, which is not long enough to enjoy it. Jong PSV answered before the celebration had properly finished, and the shape of the afternoon changed with it.
Some afternoons a goalkeeper is the whole of the defence. 35 saves, several of them the kind nobody expects to see made, and ten outfield players who owe him a drink.
8 without a win now, and the ground has developed the special quiet of a crowd that expects the worst. One scrappy 1-0 would cure most of it; that is the maddening part.
15 goals. Both benches spent the second half looking at each other rather than at the pitch. Purists will complain about Jong PSV and ADO Den Haag in equal measure; everybody else had a wonderful time.
A side in position 4 visits next. The result will not make anybody’s season and it could quietly break the shape of one, which is why the manager has been watching the video since Sunday.
7 without a win now, and the ground has developed the special quiet of a crowd that expects the worst. One scrappy 1-0 would cure most of it; that is the maddening part.
Some afternoons a goalkeeper is the whole of the defence. 27 saves, several of them the kind nobody expects to see made, and ten outfield players who owe him a drink.
6 without a win now, and the ground has developed the special quiet of a crowd that expects the worst. One scrappy 1-0 would cure most of it; that is the maddening part.
6 matches, two or more conceded in every one of them. Sides that create as much as this can live with it for a while. Nobody lives with it forever.
Match26 Sep 2026
Nobody could stop scoring
13 goals. Both benches spent the second half looking at each other rather than at the pitch. Purists will complain about Jong PSV and VVV-Venlo in equal measure; everybody else had a wonderful time.
The manager kept them in and said what needed saying. A response is expected on Saturday, and if it does not come the questions move upstairs.
The dugout28 Sep 2026
The manager’s verdict
“That is on me. I pick the team and I picked wrong.” Managers say that when they mean it and when they need to be seen to, and after 0‑13 Guus Janssen left the room before anybody could ask which.
“I am not asking anybody to be better than they are. I am asking everybody to be as good as they are, every week.” Said out loud, in front of everybody, and the room at Jong PSV was different afterwards.
“Thirty minutes, door closed, everything said. We shook hands after.” Whatever was in the room stayed in the room, and Tijn Smolenaars trained the next morning like a man with less to carry.
Some afternoons a goalkeeper is the whole of the defence. 9 saves, several of them the kind nobody expects to see made, and ten outfield players who owe him a drink.
Two or more conceded in each of the last 5 matches. It is not one mistake repeating itself, which would be the easier thing to fix; it is a different one every week.
6 goals. Both benches spent the second half looking at each other rather than at the pitch. Purists will complain about Jong PSV and Willem II in equal measure; everybody else had a wonderful time.
2‑4 to Willem II, and no complaints worth printing. The performance asked for nothing more than it got.
The dugout21 Sep 2026
The manager’s verdict
“That is on me. I pick the team and I picked wrong.” Managers say that when they mean it and when they need to be seen to, and after 2‑4 Guus Janssen left the room before anybody could ask which.
At 29 he has taken a place rather than been given one, and somebody else has to find something to say about it. Jong PSV have a decision that made itself.
Some afternoons a goalkeeper is the whole of the defence. 21 saves, several of them the kind nobody expects to see made, and ten outfield players who owe him a drink.
The chances are being made and something is happening between the making and the finishing. 4 matches now, and the anxiety in the ground arrives a little earlier every week.
Match12 Sep 2026
Nobody could stop scoring
9 goals. Both benches spent the second half looking at each other rather than at the pitch. Purists will complain about Jong PSV and Jong AZ in equal measure; everybody else had a wonderful time.
Two or more conceded in each of the last 4 matches. It is not one mistake repeating itself, which would be the easier thing to fix; it is a different one every week.
The music was off and the showers ran late. What was said in that dressing room stays there, but Saturday will publish the minutes.
The dugout14 Sep 2026
The view from the dugout
“We will look at it, we will learn from it, and we go again.” The three sentences every manager keeps for a 0‑9 defeat, delivered by Guus Janssen to a room that had heard them before.
“It was not right for me. I am not going to explain why to anybody except the people I owe an explanation to.” A deal agreed between two clubs, and a player who declined to be part of it.
“It had gone on long enough. I would rather have it out than leave it sitting there.” Ten minutes behind a closed door at Jong PSV, and both men came out saying it was fine.
Not a new contract, not a new number: a new place in the manager’s thinking, which is the only promotion in football that actually matters. Sam Lammers has moved up it.
Some afternoons a goalkeeper is the team. 29 saves, several of them the sort nobody expects to see stopped, and a scoreline that flatters everybody in front of him.
Defending was optional and nobody took up the option. 16 goals between Jong PSV and Cambuur, and not one of the people who paid to be there will ask for the money back.
The chances are being made and something is happening between the making and the finishing. 3 matches now, and the anxiety in the ground arrives a little earlier every week.
Some afternoons a goalkeeper is the team. 8 saves, several of them the sort nobody expects to see stopped, and a scoreline that flatters everybody in front of him.
The last thing about a transfer that is still about the player is his signature on his own terms, and it is there. Jong PSV have lost him in all but the paperwork.
Defending was optional and nobody took up the option. 6 goals between Jong PSV and Dordrecht, and not one of the people who paid to be there will ask for the money back.
“The supporters are entitled to be angry. So am I. We will put it right.” 0‑6, a manager saying the necessary things, and a dressing room that heard a different version of them.
Successful dribbles: 14. He went past people as if he had been told there was a prize for it, and by the end the full-back had stopped pretending to try.
Some afternoons a goalkeeper is the team. 20 saves, several of them the sort nobody expects to see stopped, and a scoreline that flatters everybody in front of him.
Beaten 0‑15 by Emmen, and beaten everywhere it matters. The inquest starts on the training pitch on Monday morning.
Match15 Aug 2026
Nobody could stop scoring
15 goals. Both benches spent the second half looking at each other rather than at the pitch. Purists will complain about Jong PSV and Emmen in equal measure; everybody else had a wonderful time.
In brief
BoardroomNobody left the Jong PSV dressing room in a hurry
Add another name to the list: Austria Wien have asked the question everybody in the game has been asking about Sami Ouaissa. The answer from Jong PSV has not changed — yet.
It was not about football and everybody who saw it knows that. Two men who have to play together on Saturday said things at Jong PSV this week that will take longer than a week to unsay.
Still no offer on the table, and Sam Lammers’s deal keeps shrinking. In boardroom language, silence this long stops being an oversight and starts being an answer.
In brief
The dugoutSami Ouaissa asks for a word with the manager
SquadSami Ouaissa has seen what the next man earns